Awesome Weekend

Okay, first, I celebrated my birthday with a great dinner and awesome people. There were 21 of us in Brown’s “Trojan Room,” and I even got a Pro Stars DVD from Steve.

Yes, THOSE Pro Stars.

The rest of the night was fun, fake fighting, and dancing with pretty ladies! I felt like Ric Flair. The picture gallery from Facebook is here.

On top of that, Saturday and Sunday both included great workouts. I seriously felt better about them than I have any other in recent memory.

It was, truly, an awesome weekend. But it couldn’t have happened without some truly fantastic people in my life. I’m a lucky man to have such folks I can call friends.

Poll on MMA in New York State

A poll is being used to make the argument that New York voters overwhelmingly oppose the legalization of Mixed Martial Arts in New York State.

According to Marist, seven out of ten registerd New York State fighters disagree that Ultimate Fighting should be legalized. As an MMA fan, it seems like an absurd number. Curiously absurd, in fact, since it’s hardly a hot button issue for people other than a handful of State Legislators.

Marist asked:

“Ultimate fighting, which is legal in many states, takes place in steel cages and allows punching, kicking, and choke holds. Matches end with knockouts, submission by a fighter, or a referee or doctor’s orders. Supporters say legalizing it in New York would result in millions of dollars for the state. Do you agree or disagree with legalizing ultimate fighting in New York State?”

Well, there you go. It should have asked:

“Do you agree or disagree with legalizing ultimate fighting in New York State?”

You may be wondering what the difference is.

When I went to Siena, I interned at the Siena Research Institute and worked under a great, intelligent, and wonderful man by the name of Joe Caruso. Joe had also worked on Hillary Clinton’s US Senate campaign, and had taught me a lot about being a professional (giving me advice I unfortunately didn’t take to heart for many more years) and polling.

Part of my task was to assist in the dissemination of information and also the wording of the polls. I clearly remember a conversation in which we were trying to write an intro for one of the questions, and he put emphasis on the precarious nature of wording.

What Marist did with this poll is exactly the sort of thing Joe would say not to do. Marist got very wordy with its question, and in the opening salvo used the phrase “allows punching, kicking, and choking.” That right there automatically indicates a slant. You see, although the phrase “choke out” is used to describe what happens when a head submission is locked in, that’s not what actually happens. Chokes are illegal. However, to the average New Yorker who most likely doesn’t know better, you’d think it allows actual choking, i.e. throttling of the throat or wrapping one’s fingers violently around the neck. It’s an unsettling image; one that many victims of violent crimes are familiar with.

So they’ve already framed the question with what is, at best, a wildly misleading choice of words. At worst, it’s downright incorrect.

It’s also far too wordy. By the time you get to the question itself, the individual being polled has lost the context.

Another thing Joe taught me is the importance of context. We don’t know what was asked before and after the poll, which is key to understanding the response. With Governor Paterson’s approval rating being so low and so many items in the budget being wildly unpopular, it could have come in the midst of things like the soda tax and cuts to education. People are far more likely to say “no” to Ultimate Fighting in that order, whereas if it were asked independently in a separate poll, you’d get a different answer.

So, should this poll be given weight? Absolutely not. Here’s hoping WRGB and other news outlets covering this tonight have somebody on there that knows something about polls.

Kevin Marshall is an local playwright, writer, actor, blogger, and Mixed Martial Arts enthusiast. His new blog, “Mixed Marshall Arts,” will be launched in the upcoming months.

What We Can Really Learn from J.D. Salinger

As everyone most likely knows, J.D. Salinger died this week at the age of 91. A recluse who corresponded almost exclusively with college-aged women (many of whom he would develop relationships with), Salinger was a writer ahead of his time. Unfortunately, he also got ahead of himself. He lived a full life; or at the very least, had every opportunity to.

Salinger when he was still living...and producing.

Salinger’s body of work is influential, yet limited. Most obituaries and write-ups will flip the order of those two, which I think is a disservice to his story of a man whom so many of the great America writers of the latter half of the twentieth century cite as a primary influence.

Salinger practically invented cynical, snarky self-centeredness in the guise of intellectual prose and cultural dissemination. Holden Caufield (the protagonist and narrator of Catcher in the Rye)  is easily identifiable to know-it-all teenagers overwhelmed angst and uncertainty. They were given a voice through Salinger’s work, and over the years they’ve taken over the internet, the movie industry, the television industry, and professional sports. And although they got older, they haven’t grown up. They, like Holden, haven’t yet realized that the Universe doesn’t care enough to work exclusively against their interests and owes them nothing. Yet most of those lessons and meaning that can be culled from the work has been lost; not just at the time of their initial reading, but also in hindsight.

I’m going to revisit Catcher in the Rye myself, as I think everyone else should. We should all re-read it and examine what we remember of the Holden Caufield character as opposed to what he actually is…a cautionary tale of angst and cynicism overwhelming the ability to appreciate, or even live, life. Holden does a lot of complaining and obsessing over what he believes is the insincerity and cruelty of the world around him, but in the process he doesn’t get all that much accomplished.

Unfortunately, Salinger himself put a bit of himself into the character. He truly distrusted all adults, to the point where he would only become involved romantically with young (college-aged) women. These women, he felt, had been untouched by the world around them and as such were far more pure and of good heart than evil, phony adulsts. In other words, they were emotionally immature and/or stunted.

I hope you don’t read this and think I’m just being cruel and unfair. It’s certainly not my intent to beat up on and indict a man who has passed and isn’t here to defend himself. I, like everyone else with half a brain, hold Salinger in high reverence as far as his craft is concerned. It’s just that I think his life and all the missed opportunities therein could serve as a great lesson to not just potential writers, but all human beings.

Living your life in a state of constant cynicism and distrust is a waste. Sure, you may produce a Catcher in the Rye, but you run the very real risk of not producing something even greater. In my life I’ve met, befriended, grown up and grown old with some great creative minds whose obsession over what the world is and what they feel it owes them handicapped their ability to produce great art.

I’m not saying they – or you, dear reader – should live your life as a nihilist who doesn’t let anything affect them or phase them. In fact, I’m saying just the opposite: let it affect you, let it faze you, and let it create the great work we all know you’re capable of.

It’d be nice to think Salinger simply turned his back on publicity and celebrity. But the reality is that he carried a negative and largely incorrect world view and mindset that made him a recluse, prevented him from producing a great and fuller body of work, and in the end resulted in a lonely existence. Mourn what great (little) work he did, but also take something from it.

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As an addendum, check out this post from last month on Letters of Note, a blog that collects interesting and fascinating letters, post cards, etcetera. In it, Salinger writes to someone who wants to buy the rights to a film adaptation for Catcher in the Rye, and explains why he won’t sell it and why it would never, ever work as a film. Fascinating stuff.

It’s My Birthday!

I turn 28 today.

RPInsider marked the occasion (unintentionally) by posting an interview with yours truly. CLICK HERE to read. And seriously, this was a complete coincidence. They had no idea they were feeding into my narcissism on the day of my birth.

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In lieu of getting me a present, text “Haiti” to 90999 to make a $10 donation to the Red Cross. It took the Red Cross alone over $530 million to deal with the catastrophic tsunami that ravaged South Asia in 2004. With a death toll of 150,000 that have been found and accounted for alone, a complete destruction of their capital’s infrastructure, and no strong central government to speak of, it’s going to take at least as much.

Many of you have been generous so far. Some of you may not have been able to help last week, but may be able to now.

It’s not too late. They need your help and your funds now more than ever. Don’t think that your contribution, no matter how small, won’t make a difference because some time has passed. If anything, it makes it more vital in the wake of slowing donations and more complete assessments of the damage done by the earthquake.

Bad Medicine: What I Need (oh whoa whoa)?

When it comes to safe and/or over the counter pills, how much is too much?

I ask because I currently take a multi-vitamin, Omega fish oil tablet, vitamin D-3 (400 IU), and vitamin E (200 IU) every day. I’ve also started taking ibuprofen 2-3 times a day for my knee. It got what I (and my doctor) assume was a little fluid in it from over-exerting myself during a run without stretching out properly, and while it’s slowly improving it still gets a little sore and funky if I’m on it too much.

Then, to combat an…unpleasantness derived from protein shakes, I purchased Beano at the suggestion of several folks who claimed it might remedy my…OKAY FARTS. You’re supposed to take 2-3 tablets right before consuming whatever it is that ails your digestive system. Myself, I take 2 of them.

This all in addition to the daily pill I take so that when I talk to my cat, she doesn’t talk back to me. Okay, that’s not what the medication’s for, but it’s also none of your damn business! I’m playing the HIPAA card, damnit!

So that’s eight to ten tablets or pills a day. I realize they’re not painkillers or anything, but it just strikes me as a lot.

Thoughts? Am I destined for Celebrity Rehab 4? And do I have to room with Andy Dick? Because I’ll hit him, I swear.

Conan Gives His Speech, I Give Mine

Last night, before the closing performance of “Freebird” featuring Will Ferrell and an all-star jam band, Conan O’Brien took a moment to speak directly to the situation, NBC, and his fans. I’ve transcribed it for you.

“Ladies and gentlemen, before we bring this rodeo to a close, I think a couple things should be said.

There’s been a lot of speculation in the press about what I legally can and can’t say about NBC. And – this isn’t a joke – to set the record straight…and this is true…tonight I’m allowed to say anything I want. And-no, it’s not a joke, but thanks sir.

Tonight I really am allowed to say whatever I want. And what I want to say is this…

Between my time at Saturday Night Live, the Late Night show, and my brief run here on The Tonight Show, I’ve worked at NBC for over 20 years. Yes, we have our differences right now, yes we’re going our separate ways. but this company has been my home for most of my adult life. I am enormously proud of the work we’ve done together, and I want to thank NBC for making it all possible. I really do.

A lot of people have been asking me about my state of mind. I’l be honest with you – walking away from The Tonight Show is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Making this choice has been enormously difficult.

This is the best job in the world. I absolutely love doing it. And I have the best staff and crew in the history of the medium. I would fight anybody who says I don’t, but no one would. But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian dreams of hosting the Tonight Show. And for seven months I got to do it.

And I did it my way, with people I love, I do not regret one second of anything we’ve done here.

And I encounter people when I walk on the street now who just give me sort of a sad look. I have had more good fortune than anyone I know. And if our next gig is doing a show in a 7/11 Parking Lot, we will find a way to make it fun. We really will. I have no problems.

I don’t want to do it in a 7/11 parking lot, but whatever.

And finally, I have something to say to our fans. This massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming for me. The rallies, the signs, all this goofy outrageous creativity on the internet. The fact that people have travelled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain…it’s been pouring for days! And they’re camping out to be in our audience!

Really. Here’s what all of you have done. You’ve made a sad situation joyous and inspirational. So to all the people watching I can never ever thank you enough for the kindness to me. I’ll think about it for the rest of my life.

And all I ask is one thing, and this is – I’m asking this particularly of young people who watch. Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

I’m telling you, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you. It’s just true.”

And here’s where I speak. For myself, and not on behalf of fans, because I find that sort of thing to be a bit presumptuous. Besides, some fans might be jerks, and I don’t want to be held accountable for all the jerkity things they do.

I first became aware of who Conan O’Brien was when I was 11 years old. He had just been made host of Late Night, a mantle he inherited after David Letterman (a childhood hero of mine) left the network.

I was always a night owl, and as such I would always stay up late to watch late night television. I had my own television in my room, and I can recall nights where I’d turn it down as low as possible and nearly stick my ear to the headset so as to not be caught by my mother up at a wholly unreasonable hour for a child.

I immediately fell in love with the show, its writing, and its presentation. There was something about the humor that spoke to me. To this day, it continues to speak to me. I can’t tell you why I have such a clear memory of The Gaseous Wiener engaging in a battle to the death with Upside-Down Willy, but I do and it’s endured throughout these years while far more important situations and memories have dissolved into the ether.

I can recall being in 5th and 6th grade and recounting these skits to a gang of blank stares. Without getting too much into the story of my life, I had an unhappy childhood and adolescence. Some of it had to do with circumstances beyond my control, but much of it is due to various issues and difficulties that I’ve only in the past few years begun to understand and address. However, if in a sea of blank stares I got one that understood the humor of Late Night with Conan O’Brien, I had a new friend and a reprieve from the general unhappiness of my early years.

I followed O’Brien wherever he went, and was to the moon when I first heard the news about him hosting “The Tonight Show.” We all know how I went down and I’ve made my position abundantly clear, so I won’t even touch it. I just want to say that Conan O’Brien is one of the few men in his or any industry that I’ve strived to be like, and what he said last night only solidified it.

So thank you, Conan. Keep doing what you want to do, keep being who you want to be, and bring that awesome staff with you wherever you go. We’ll follow.

I Need An Adult!

My good friend Wetsel sent me a card! I got it in the mail today. But oh, this wasn’t just any card. Because it also doubled as a MASK! A freaking mask! Of Iron Man! And if anybody knows me, they know I am a big nerd.

FOR ME TO WEAR?! Neeeeeat!

TEXT
Ask for an adult to help you. Carefully cut mask and eyeholes along perforation.
Put on your mask. Now you’re ready for some super-hero fun!

I went out to find my roommate Steve, a certified adult, but he had gone out to run some errands. Without an adult around, I bravely cut the perforations myself. But I wasn’t quite ready for some super-hero fun. Being a good friend with good manners, I first read the rest of the card.

TEXT
Card – Today’s your BIG DAY
you’re another year old.
You’re STRONGER and wiser,
more fearless and BOLD.
Your day will be super,
your FUN unsurpassed!
You’re one AWESOME boy -
Now go have a BLAST!

Who is he, Iron Man or Etrigan?

You’re welcome, six people reading this who get that joke.

Matt’s Note -
Extra credit if you get a photo of you wearing this on facebook. Happy birthday! Have a great day.
Peace,
Matt

What, he thought I wouldn’t?

I pity the fool who comes at me with a whip!

RPI Extends Deadline for Matching Contributions to January 31st

Dr. Shirley Ann Jackson, President of Rensselaer, has announced that the deadline for matching donations from students, faculty, and staff towards the relief effort in Haiti has been extended to January 31st.

I don’t have any figures, but I’ve been told that many have taken advantage of the offer and have extended an incredible amount of generosity towards those suffering from the after-effects of the earthquake that devastated Port-au-Prince.

If you’re a current RPI student, faculty, or staff member (I know some of you that read this are!), I encourage you to take advantage of this offer. Your amount, even if it seems insignificant against the grand scope of this tragedy, will literally help save lives and perhaps even give a future to these long-suffering people.

Please see this post from last week for more info.

Wu-Tang vs. The Beatles: “Enter the Magical Mystery Chambers”

It’s slowly making its rounds on the internet, although it’s shocking that Tom Caruana’s remixing of Wu-Tang’s and The Beatles’ catalogues isn’t getting the same speed of recognition and praise that Danger Mouse received for his “Grey Album” mash-up of Jay-Z’s “The Black Album” with selected tracks from The Beatles’ “White Album.”

Especially considering that as craft and art, “Enter the Magical Mystery Chambers” is a far superior effort.

As much as I went ga-ga over “The Grey Album” when I first heard it, much of it was the novelty of hearing Beatles songs brought into the sampling realm. I’m sure that underground mix tapes had done it before, but for somebody who’s a relative novice to hip-hop (still (after all these years)), it was a revelation.

This, though? This is something different. It maintains the spirit of Wu-Tang’s original thematics and resonance, maintaining that same ghostly, distant weirdness that made Wu-Tang the most unique hip-hop ensembles of the nineties.

The songs used on this mix are almost unrecognizable because Caruana, unlike Danger Mouse, twists and mangles these wonderful classics into something cruder, something stranger, and something equally wonderful.

The joy does not merely lie in the familiarity. Even as a child who was reared on The Beatles (my father played them exclusively throughout my childhood), it was a task – menial but still a task – to identify the samples. But that’s the joy one derives from great sampling, and what separates it from just taking a recognizable tune and re-hashing it for the sake of a re-tread (a la Bad Boy records in the late 90s).

Click on the link below to download. You won’t be disappointed. Trust me.

http://wutangvsthebeatles.bandcamp.com/

MLK

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

As much as is said about the man, not enough emphasis is put on what a fantastic orator, writer, and human being he was. I feel this picture, more than anything, exemplifies what I find most fascinating about King: his stoic defiance enhanced by a noble disposition that let everyone know, even his opponents, that what he was fighting for was right and just.

Unfortunately, it’s hard for people like King to survive in this world. It’s a world where people want to make human rights relative; where we need to be careful in granting the same rights to certain people that we guarantee for all others, lest we upset some delicate balance we think we’ve established. Nobody wants to be a real hero, because real heroes end up dead.

Enjoy your day off. But don’t forget why you’re home.