Drunk Fall Ditch
Wednesday, August 25th, 12:45am
As I was finishing up some e-mails and settling in for the evening, I saw someone lingering near the open window of my elderly next door neighbor’s house. From my window, I couldn’t make out anything other than that it was a slightly larger guy in a baseball cap. I saw the neon light of a cellphone screen light up, then descend. An audible “SMACK” was heard and everything went still with the neon light resting on the ground, then dimming slightly before disappearing completely.
Concerned that he may have been tackled by an overzealous Delmartian, I went outside to investigate with my cellphone at the ready in case I have to call an ambulance. As I approach, I’m able to make out the back of the kid’s white t-shirt.
I talked him out of his unintentional slumber and he sat up. I urged him to get up so as not to alarm my neighbors.
Like the child in “Family Circus,” he took a comedically long route to get from the driveway to the sidewalk. I walked with him to the corner, then watched as he went back to his apartment to make sure he didn’t take another header. I was going to point out the smear of blood on his face (it wasn’t still pouring and it was on his cheek so it couldn’t have been too serious), so if you’re reading this, that’s how it happened.
Oh, and welcome back, students!