One of the great things about Facebook is stumbling upon all those images and glimpses of your past. The worst thing about Facebook? Stumbling upon all those images and glimpses of your past.
I mean, man, look at this.
It was 2003. I was involved in both the Siena College Student Senate and the Student Events Board. This particular photo was of the fully gathered Student Events Board at our student leader retreat.
I remember it fondly. It was a great time with great people that all deserved a lot more than I was willing to give them. We all got along fantastically at that point, and still did for some time after.
But with all the good memories came the bad. All the regrets. The truth is, that very moment – the picture shown above – would be one of my last happy memories. I won’t say that the downward spiral began at that point. In all honesty, it had started well before that. But certain things started to surface that came to a head with three and a half more years of trauma, drama, and chaos. All by my own design. If only I’d been the only one hurt and affected by my actions and, at times, lack thereof. Nostalgia is such a delicate construct, isn’t it?
C’est la vie. After some time and reflection, I’m glad I saw it. It’s good to remind myself that, no, it wasn’t all bad. In fact, most of it was really good, even if after that point the bad started outweighing and outpacing the good. I just have to keep doing what I can to right the wrongs, just as I have for the last three plus years.
I have some amends to make.