Home > Uncategorized > The Perplexing Defense Arguments for Sarah Palin

The Perplexing Defense Arguments for Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin’s sudden resignation was a confusing surprise to the media and the general public would be an understatement. Perhaps even stranger was the wild   speculation as to what reasons would be given. Stranger than that is the   explanation Palin offered, which involved a forced and complicated basketball   metaphor and the mention of dead fish. I know that when I put in my two-week   notice at my last job, I used a complicated analogy involving Frank Mir’s   submission victory via ankle-lock over Brock Lesnar while eating a Filet-O-Fish.

Stranger than the circumstances surrounding her resignation are the arguments put   forth that she somehow is beyond criticism for her decision or that it somehow   makes logical sense for a future Presidential run, either in 2012 or 2016.

I can’t say that I dislike Sarah Palin more than I dislike most other politicians, but I can confidently say that I do find her popularity and the cult of personality surrounding her to be simultaneously fascinating and baffling. How can an attractive woman speaking folksy jive like a Bizarro version of June Cleaver in “Airplane” in an out-of-place thick Mid-West accent that even her closest friends and family are at a loss to explain so easily capture the hearts of a desperate and clingy Republican base? Oh, evermind. Answered my own question.

Mention that you're going to Chuck E. Cheese and Sarah stays excited throughout the entire car ride.

Mention that you're going to Chuck E. Cheese and Sarah stays excited throughout the entire car ride.

In all seriousness, I thought both the media and the GOP would have enough sense to abandon Palinmania much like John McCain did in Septemb—er, November. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. David Letterman made a bad joke – in both taste and for its lack of wit = and there she was on the front page again decrying the comment while making a crack about Letterman wanting to sexually assault her child for whom the joke wasn’t even directed towards. Not that it’s much of a defense since he was kind of an asshole about the whole thing, but c’mon. This on the heels of the Bristol Palin national tour to raise awareness of abstinence, which also elicited a venomous reaction when people deigned to actually raise debate about the merits of the arguments put forth rather than just roll over and say “you know what, Bristol Palin? You’re right. Clearly, abstinence is the only answer because pretending problems don’t exist and offering unrealistic solutions has always served us so well in our personal lives and in for our society as a whole.”

Myself, I’m a pop culture junkie, so I can’t help but be fascinated by the interest in Palin and the s***storm that was kicked up by her confusing, bewildering resignation speech, which was a veritable goldmine for comedians both professional and those with less than a hundred followers on Twitter. But being a fascinating media subject and a punching bag for political gossip columnists and late-night talk show hosts does not translate to Presidential material. More importantly, up and quitting your job as Governor of a state with one of the most miniscule infrastructures in all the United States makes for a compelling argument against your potential candidacy.

Yet she still has her supporters. I’d like to say that they’re all earnest in their belief of her character and qualifications as a national figurehead of conservative politics, but the reality is that most just have a death grip on that illogical, childish, and culturally damaging team mentality that’s so prevalent in American politics. How else do you explain the following points that are put forth:

“Palin is so staunch in her beliefs that she would rather quit her position than allow further financial costs to accumulate for the ethics violations she’s facing from her political adversaries.”

Sarah Palin runs from her responsibilities. Get it? Because, see, she's running and---you know what, nevermind.

Sarah Palin runs from her responsibilities. Get it? Because, see, she's running and---you know what, nevermind.

Yes, because we all have fond memories of those great men and women in the past who have not seen their dreams for a better country fully realized early in their careers and quit as a result. I myself spent the 4th looking back fondly and appreciating men like Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, who gave up after six hours in Philadelphia and decided it’d be best not to stir up too much trouble and engage in a war that other people may not have wanted. And who can forget the courageous Harriet Tubman, who saw that transporting blacks to the North was far too dangerous and instead spent her life crusading for freed slaves to go back to the plantations they had fled. Truly, she belongs in the company of men and women that were so staunch in their values. Because nothing shows determination and conviction like giving up on a technicality.

“She didn’t want her family to be further ridiculed or be part of any further media spectacle(s).”

This I understand. It’s wholly unfair to subject family members to media scrutiny, and a lot of comments directed at family members of politicians are wholly unfair. Except, well, the real problem isn’t so much that Todd was a separatist insomuch that Sarah herself spoke at one of their events. Other than that though, the attention thrown on Bristol’s pregnancy was nothing more than a leftist distraction and a means of character assassination towards an entire family that simply wanted to be left alone. Except when Palin dragged the father of the child onstage with her as part of her family at the Republican National Convention, then this past winter gave the go-ahead for single mom Bristol to go (on her own) on a national speaking tour about teen pregnancy. Then there’s-oh, nevermind. Just do as she says and not as she does, okay?

“Palin is a victim of a venomous media.”

Yes, the media are a bunch of starving jackals who will stop at nothing to get the sexiest story possible and rarely reign in the herd mentality enough to consider the consequences of their actions and coverage. Hey, don’t look at me like that, media. I’m only saying what I, my friends, my family, and every single other person in the United States has known about the reality of celebrity and political life for decades upon decades. You can’t lobby to get yourself into the business of national politics and then complain about media coverage. Strange how I’ve never known a single fireman to refuse to enter a building because there’s smoke coming out of one of windows or demand that something be done about all the damn heat in that building before they go in there.

The argument that the liberal media are the ones that insisted on Palin being a hot topic can only stretch so far before it snaps under the weight of Palin’s need to be on the national stage. Not that one should expect a politician not to be a little vain and/or have an ego, but let’s call a spade a spade. Sarah Palin loves attention, period. She has a gift for putting herself in positions of power and under consideration for positions that she would not be under consideration for otherwise. She wasn’t uknowingly plucked off the street by the Victorian aristocracy as part of some elaborate ill-advised bet. She lobbied and marketed herself onto the short-list for Vice-Presidential nominee. All media attention and controversy that has risen since November has had one person at the root of it – Palin herself.

But of all these arguments, I saw one tonight from a blogger that really had me scratching my head. I’m not going to single this blogger out other than to say he writes for a fairly popular political website. I don’t know the blogger personally, but I don’t want it to appear as if this is a personal attack on the merits of his/her arguments. I understand that having deadlines and being forced to take a position on an issue you may ride the fence on can sometimes result in producing something totally forced and illogical.

Okay, it was Roger Simon over at Politico. Seriously, though, don’t fault the guy. He was obviously under quite a bit of stress. I mean, how else do you explain the following, which was presented as the crux of his argument:

“Though this is what Bob Dole did in 1996, didn’t he? Dole resigned his Senate seat to run for president. I remember it. I was standing right there when he did it. And I don’t recall anybody accusing him of being a quitter.”

By 1996, Bob Dole had accumulated an impressive resume and daunting list of accomplishments via his 28-year career as a Senator. He had respect on both sides of the aisle and had already won his party’s nomination for President of the United States when he resigned his seat to focus on his campaign. Sarah Palin, on the other hand, didn’t make it three years(!) as Governor of Alaska before deciding to pull out rather than weather the political storms that surrounded her career, many of which she herself had stirred up. It’s also worth noting that Palin, as of last Friday, was not her party’s candidate for President. In fact, she hadn’t even announced she was running in the primaries. She has plenty of time to do that – FOUR YEARS IN FACT.

I mean, c’mon Roger, you really take money for putting forth that sort of argument? You’re better than that.

I guess I just don’t understand why some very good, otherwise intelligent Conservatives completely flip their logic and make themselves look potentially foolish just for the sake of providing a defense of someone like Palin. Must be the maverick in ‘er.

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