Home > Uncategorized > Kevin Marshall wants to Stuff Your Stocking

Kevin Marshall wants to Stuff Your Stocking

Firstly, Merry Christmas Eve everyone! Notice I didn’t say “Happy Holidays.” That’s because I, unlike most people, love America.

In all seriousness, is anybody offended when I say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas?” I realize that I might be inviting a rant from a reader about how overt political correctness has redefined our language while citing some wild statistic that says 96% of people in the United States celebrate Christmas, but saying “Happy Holidays” just comes across much more naturally to me. If anything I have to take the time to force myself to say “Merry Christmas” to specific people whom I know will be offended by a non-specific tiding.

So I’m wrapping presents on Christmas Eve. I know I know, last minute, shut up about it already. I got my youngest nieces (the twins) these Bratz dolls from the “Girlz Really Rock!” line. I personally find the whole “Bratz” thing to be annoying and terrible and a bit disturbing, but far be it from me to suck joy out of the lives of children on Christmas. Anyway, I did a search on Google to find an image of what I purchased since I’m too lazy to go through the trouble of snapping a photo with my phone, uploading it to my PC, throwing it up on the site, and linking it here. Instead of an image, however, I came across the following video on YouTube…a commercial for an accompanying DVD for the toys:

If I die and see any of what I just saw, I’ll know that I was wrong all along: that there is a God, he hates me, and he’s sent me to Hell.

Alright folks, I gotta finish wrapping these abominations and then commune with my fellow Troylets for our annual holiday get-together. Have a Happy Holiday and all that! And Happy Kwanzaa to my zero friends who celebrate it, and Merry Christmas to those that love Jesus and won’t be left behind when the Rapture comes, and and Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish friends. Speaking of which, it appears I have a new one on LiveJournal – easypropaganda. I’m not sure how she stumbled across this, but I’m glad she did because her blog is pretty hilarious. Particularly the most recent entry. Check it.

P.S. I suck at wrapping so bad.

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  1. December 25, 2008 at 2:14 am

    I’m so goddamned offended it hurts.
    No, that’s the beer talking.

    • December 25, 2008 at 2:33 am

      Awwww! Merry Christmas. You’re still my favorite Jew. For now.

      • December 25, 2008 at 2:37 am

        I’m a halfie. Feel free to get a whole one if you’d like ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. December 25, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    for the last week i’ve been saying “have good holidays!” to patients and random people. it seems to cover all pertinent bases ๐Ÿ™‚

    and also – merry christmas, kevin!

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