Sarah Palin vs. Putin’s Head
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Sarah Palin. On the surface, the Governor of Alaska and former beauty queen appears to be…well, a former beauty Queen who somehow got elected Governor of Alaska. The McCain campaign didn’t help matters much when they not only restricted the press’s access to her, but openly bragged about it and in the process painted her as a helpless woman who couldn’t possibly stand up to the rigors of questions about what platforms her and Presidential hopeful John McCain were running on.
Well, fuck you, liberal media! Because Sarah Palin and the McCain Campaign have decided to call you on all your derisive bullshit. You think she’s dumb, huh? You think she can’t handle herself? You really think she is not only unqualified for the office but may act as a detriment to McCain gettling elected? Well, they’ll show you. They’ll book an interview with the 21st Century’s most hard-hitting, ferocious journalist. Not only that, but she’ll hold her own and go tit for tat on questions concerning the economy, foreign policy…you name it.
Bring on…Katie Couric?
Okay, see, that was l33t-speak. Sarah Palin is the candidate that speaks to the youth of America, not some snobby elitist who as a child ate cake his mother bought with gold-plated…um, food stamps.
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO PALIN
MAKE YOUR VOTE THERE IS NO TIME
Okay, see, that wasn’t Sarah Palin. That was Tina Fey There’s simply no way that she would get so hopelessly lost she’d yell out “MAVERICK! Yeah, he’s a Maverick.” I mean, the trained seals at Sea World show far more organic transitions in their act than what we just saw.
Oh man. You mean that wasn’t from SNL? You mean that really just fucking happened?
Okay, she’s nervous and not well-versed on all subjects, but she’s not totally fucking stupid. She can’t be. It’s impossible. Like, she wouldn’t actually have us believe that she’s qualified to deal with an increasingly aggressive Russia simply because of Alaska’s proximity to it. Right?
Please, somebody convince me that this woman is not a total moron. This isn’t her going toe to toe in a debate with Noam Chomsky or being interviewed by Walter Cronkite. It’s Katie Couric – you know, all smiles, Today Show, great at her job but poor choice for a straight news anchor. And…she just fell apart answering questions.
Honestly, I cannot offer more in-depth analysis than that, simply because I can’t even understand what she’s getting at. How the Hell is she going to communicate with foreign dignitaries? Maybe after the election she can move to Puerto Rico, become its Governor, and then run for President in 2012 on the platform that she stared down both Vladimir Putin and Hugo Chavez.
I’ll close with this image, which I did not make but God I wish I had.