Kevin Marshall Quits Smoking: Day 6
Fun fact about the patch, which you may not be aware of unless you actually decide to use it: it’s a skin irritant. There’s some discomfort and itchiness which subsides after awhile. I’ve read worse accounts of the effects, but for me it usually doesn’t last any longer than twenty minutes, and it’s minor. The bigger issue, for me, is that I constantly feel it. Not the itchiness, mind you; just the patch itself.
See, you can’t put it on the same spot two days in a row. Otherwise you’re on a one-way ticket to Uncomfortable Rash City, population: you (and John Edwards). You can probably get away with every other day in the same general area, but my skin is sensitive enough as it is so I’m not taking any chances.
Unfortunately, this means having to shave the area where it’s applied. So for the second day in a row, you’re getting way too much information about your favorite smoke-quitting blogger: tomorrow morning, I shave my chest. It’s not a big deal because, as some of you reading this may know, I have the torso of a fourteen-year-old boy and we are absolutely not going to discuss the circumstances behind your knowledge of this fact. I mean, I have a few hairs here and there, but I’m a far cry from Burt Reynolds.
In terms of cravings, I’m still talking about cigarettes and the habit because people keep asking about it. However, I had my first day today where I went the entire day without thinking to myself “this is where I would have a cigarette” or even contemplating having one. The real test, in my mind, comes this time next week when I move down to the next lowest dosage (14mg).
Part of me is a nervous wreck over the eventuality of not being on the patch and how my body’s going to react from not having any nicotine absorbed into its system, even if I’m gradually weened off. However, I have to keep those moments fleeting. Being in recovery from alcoholism has been a help in that I have to take the same approach to the cigarettes that I do to alcohol – one day at a time. If I project too far into the future and don’t focus on the here and now, then I’m doomed to failure. And really, that works for just about anything, whether you’re trying to ween yourself off dependence on a substance (physical or otherwise) or just life’s more difficult situations and events.
So…six days without a smoke. After tomorrow (Wednesday), it’ll be a full week.
I have the television on in the background, and I just caught a commercial for the Boy Scouts of America. Three dweeby-looking fourteen-year-old boys are laying around a campfire as a poorly CGI’ed shooting star flashes across the night sky, and one of them yells “LOOK AT THAT.” Wishing to contribute, a second hurriedly replies “WHOACHECKITOUT.” Their third and more socially awkward friend says “WHOA LOOK AT THAT,” with the first boy being kind enough not to point out that he already fucking said that. They cut to the Scout Leaders, one of whom puts his hands on his hips, looks up wistfully, and half-whispers “thank you God” in a manner that sounds like he’s about to start sobbing uncontrollably.
As a reference point, here’s the video:
NOTE – the commercial that airs on television usually omits the first few seconds with all the words flashing across the screen.
I understand the intent of the organization and their sentiment, but can somebody explain to me how the Hell that’s supposed to effectively recruit young males into the Boy Scouts? Like, what child would see that commercial and want to join or even want more information just based on that? I’m not knocking a belief structure, just noting from a pure marketing standpoint how piss-poor that commercial was. On the plus side, I urge all of you to adopt “thank you, GOD” with the same inflection used in that commercial as a new catchphrase.
Another new catchphrase you need to use is Sally Block’s Maury Povich-inspired “you are NOT the father,” which is useful whenever somebody makes a fantastic error/mistake (all puns about how being the father is the real mistake aside).