Home > Uncategorized > Kevin Marshall Quits Smoking: Day 6

Kevin Marshall Quits Smoking: Day 6

Fun fact about the patch, which you may not be aware of unless you actually decide to use it: it’s a skin irritant. There’s some discomfort and itchiness which subsides after awhile. I’ve read worse accounts of the effects, but for me it usually doesn’t last any longer than twenty minutes, and it’s minor. The bigger issue, for me, is that I constantly feel it. Not the itchiness, mind you; just the patch itself.

See, you can’t put it on the same spot two days in a row. Otherwise you’re on a one-way ticket to Uncomfortable Rash City, population: you (and John Edwards). You can probably get away with every other day in the same general area, but my skin is sensitive enough as it is so I’m not taking any chances.

Unfortunately, this means having to shave the area where it’s applied. So for the second day in a row, you’re getting way too much information about your favorite smoke-quitting blogger: tomorrow morning, I shave my chest. It’s not a big deal because, as some of you reading this may know, I have the torso of a fourteen-year-old boy and we are absolutely not going to discuss the circumstances behind your knowledge of this fact. I mean, I have a few hairs here and there, but I’m a far cry from Burt Reynolds.

In terms of cravings, I’m still talking about cigarettes and the habit because people keep asking about it. However, I had my first day today where I went the entire day without thinking to myself “this is where I would have a cigarette” or even contemplating having one. The real test, in my mind, comes this time next week when I move down to the next lowest dosage (14mg).

Part of me is a nervous wreck over the eventuality of not being on the patch and how my body’s going to react from not having any nicotine absorbed into its system, even if I’m gradually weened off. However, I have to keep those moments fleeting. Being in recovery from alcoholism has been a help in that I have to take the same approach to the cigarettes that I do to alcohol – one day at a time. If I project too far into the future and don’t focus on the here and now, then I’m doomed to failure. And really, that works for just about anything, whether you’re trying to ween yourself off dependence on a substance (physical or otherwise) or just life’s more difficult situations and events.

So…six days without a smoke. After tomorrow (Wednesday), it’ll be a full week.


I have the television on in the background, and I just caught a commercial for the Boy Scouts of America. Three dweeby-looking fourteen-year-old boys are laying around a campfire as a poorly CGI’ed shooting star flashes across the night sky, and one of them yells “LOOK AT THAT.” Wishing to contribute, a second hurriedly replies “WHOACHECKITOUT.” Their third and more socially awkward friend says “WHOA LOOK AT THAT,” with the first boy being kind enough not to point out that he already fucking said that. They cut to the Scout Leaders, one of whom puts his hands on his hips, looks up wistfully, and half-whispers “thank you God” in a manner that sounds like he’s about to start sobbing uncontrollably.

As a reference point, here’s the video:
NOTE – the commercial that airs on television usually omits the first few seconds with all the words flashing across the screen.

(direct link)

I understand the intent of the organization and their sentiment, but can somebody explain to me how the Hell that’s supposed to effectively recruit young males into the Boy Scouts? Like, what child would see that commercial and want to join or even want more information just based on that? I’m not knocking a belief structure, just noting from a pure marketing standpoint how piss-poor that commercial was. On the plus side, I urge all of you to adopt “thank you, GOD” with the same inflection used in that commercial as a new catchphrase.

Another new catchphrase you need to use is Sally Block’s Maury Povich-inspired “you are NOT the father,” which is useful whenever somebody makes a fantastic error/mistake (all puns about how being the father is the real mistake aside).

More later…

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: ,
  1. August 27, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    That whole org is basically just a recruitment farm for LDS at this point. Which I only have a problem with insofar as they won’t cop to it. If they just nutted up and called themselves “Boy Mormons of America” or “Mormon Boy Scouts of America”, then, you know, go with your decaffinated selves.

    Also, this came from Fowlkes yesterday.

    “You are not the father” is good, but when I have a minute to bask in absolute victory and I know that I’ll be heard, I prefer, “Dr. Jones. Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away.”

    • August 27, 2008 at 3:39 pm

      Speaking as a COMPLETELY unofficial representative of Girl Scouts of the USA (No affiliation. Completely different structure.), that commercial wasn’t aimed at kids.

      It was aimed at adults – adults, who likely were boy scouts when they were young and that commercial is an accurate representation of their boy scouts memories.

      Or, it was aimed at well-meaning but nevertheless phoning it in adults who have a vague feeling that Boy Scouts might be just the thing for their wayward teen.

      Girl or Boy, once they’ve gone teen – odds are, they’re NOT going to be interested in scouting.

      What’s this about Boy Scouts being an LDS recruiting tool?

      • August 27, 2008 at 4:14 pm

        Eh, I saw it on “Penn & Teller: Bullshit”, so the point was loudly and stridently made.

        Then I remembered the BSA related stuff I went to as a lad, how most of it was for my cousin Bill, how Bill is a Mormon…

        Anyway, it starts here…

        And if you don’t have a half an hour, Penn says that the BSA got basically infiltrated and taken over by hardline LDSers and turned into a factory for good LDS men. Obviously some more than others, some chapters not at all.

        He is careful to make the point that the Girl Scouts are completely different and not affiliated.

      • August 29, 2008 at 11:31 pm


        I wonder what the statistics are for Girl Scout troops that are sponsored by religious groups? The program is designed to be self-supporting via product sales and money earning activities, but there are troops that have sponsors.

        That’s interesting stuff.

  2. August 27, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    So…six days without a smoke. After tomorrow (Wednesday), it’ll be a full week.

    You are totally kicking ass. *hug* Keep it up!

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