Home > Uncategorized > TWO QUICK RETRACTIONS THAT DESERVE MORE SPACE BUT I’M EXHAUSTED

TWO QUICK RETRACTIONS THAT DESERVE MORE SPACE BUT I’M EXHAUSTED

itrytobeamused reminded me that I need to make two retractions, one of which is long overdue.

1. Tina Fey is a-okay. I hated her for the shittiness that was SNL while she was Head Writer, and also her stint on “Weekend Update.” I’ve since come to grips with the fact that there was only so much she could do with the tools at her disposal in the writing room, and also that it was Jimmy Fallon’s awe-inspiring sucktitude that made their version of “Weekend Update” so intolerable. I’ve since become OBSESSED with “30 Rock,” one of the funniest shows on television that I didn’t give enough of a chance at first.

2. Michael Phelps is alright. After watching an interview with him, I realized he’s not a dumb brainless jock who’s just out to pimp phat rides. He’s actually a sweet, humble, flawed kid who’s out to pimp phat rides. He’s been awkward and insecure about his ADHD and his build all his life, and as such was tormented throughout High School. Now he’s the world’s hero. But it isn’t being able to throw it in the face of his tormentors that brings a smile to his face, but rather the pride his mother feels in him and the joy it brings her every time he swims. If you saw this interview you’d know what I mean – every time Brian Williams asked his mother a question, they showed Phelps grinning from ear to ear. It was so sweet. That being said, he’s still going to destroy us all. Think of him as Frankenstein in that scene where he gets the flower from the little girl. Feel for him. Love him. But do not stop fearing the destructive power he wields.

More later…

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  1. August 22, 2008 at 6:25 am

    you forgot to update us about your pregnancy, HIV and abortion.

  2. August 22, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    I heard that when his bullies come up to him, all “DO YOU REMEMBER ME MICHAEL”, he pretends he doesn’t know who they are. “I won’t give them the satisfaction.” Heart.

    He also has a pit bull that he loves. (“I can’t wait to go home. I miss my dog.”) Phelps let them put a camera in his house to film them as they sleep. Apparently, the dog snores louder than a 300lbs man. It’s his best friend.

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