Home > Uncategorized > UFC 90: Check Yourself Before You Mess Yourself

UFC 90: Check Yourself Before You Mess Yourself

That’s probably what the name of the event should be, judging by the body language displayed by Anderson Silva’s victim challenger Patrick Cote:


“How does Patrick Cote know so much about Oops I Crapped My Pants?
Because he’s wearing them, and he just did.”
Image Credit: MMAmania.com

UFC 90: OCTOBER 25, 2008 IN ILLINOIS
venue:
Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois
THE TENATIVE/RUMORED/ALL BUT OFFICIAL CARD:
—–* Rankings according to KevinMarshallOnline.com’s MMA Rankings, because it’s hilarious to pretend they’re official and mean something.

Anderson Silva (#1 Middleweight)* vs. Patrick Cote
* Cote gets a shot because Yushin Okami’s injured, Rich Franklin’s already lost to Silva twice, and…well, there’s nobody left. Other than someone like Damian Maia, who still needs another win or two before he’s deemed worthy of being annihilated by The Spider.

Thiago Alves (#4 Welterweight) vs. Diego Sanchez (#5 Welterweight)
* This should be a great goddamn fight, and I imagine the winner gets the next shot at GSP. I think either guy could give St. Pierre a lot of trouble.

Fabricio Werdum (#3 Heavyweight) vs. Junior dos Santos
Junior’s an unknown Brazilian figher who comes in with a 6-1 record and will make his US debut against Werdum, who you’d think would be put in a fight that would solidify him as the #1 contender to Nogueira. C’est la vie.

Tyson Griffin (#6 Lightweight) vs. Sean Sherk (#9 Lightweight)
The guy people have called the new “Matt Hughes of the Lightweight Division” against the guy people used to call “The Matt Hughes of the Lightweight Division.” If Sherk loses to Griffin, it not only raises more questions as to his legacy (Sherk was stripped of the UFC Lightweight Title in 2007 after testing positive for steroids) but also puts his future in question. It’ll be pure grappling, which at 155 isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Spencer Fisher vs. Melvin Guillard
* Also-rans who were derailed – Fisher by a few disappointing performances and Guillard by his own personality and craziness and whatever else he was into – look to make a statement and get themselves back into the 155 scene.

Thales Leites vs. Goran Reljic
* Be prepared for another Jiu-Jitsu clinic from these two middleweights, though I doubt it’ll be as amazing as the one we saw between Damian Maia and Jason MacDonald last weekend. Can Leites edge out Reljic’s BJJ skills, or will Reljic’s superior stand-up prove too much for Leites?

Ricardo Almeida vs. Matt Horwich
* Almeida returned from a four-year layoff to beat Rob Yundt, but lost his chance at the Middleweight title in his last fight against Patrick Cote. In his career he’s compiled an impressive resume with wins against Nate Marquardt and Kazuo Misaki, but that was some time ago. He faces the former IFL Middleweight Champion and #1 Ranked Nicest Guy in the World, Matt Horwich, in his UFC debut. I’ll definitely be rooting for Horwich as the sentimental favorite, because seriously, nicest guy ever and a good all-around MMA fighter.

Hermes Franca vs. Gleison Tibau
* LOSER LEAVES TOWN! With the losses both men have racked up of late, the loser could see themselves out of the UFC.

Pete Sell vs. Josh Burkman
* “BELIEVE IN YOUR JIU-JITSU DRAGO!!!” – Matt Serra, loudest voice in the arena, at ringside
“I’M TWYIN’ MATT I’M TWYIN’!” – Drago

Rich Clementi vs. TBA
* No Love has no opponent (yet). Clementi’s on a six-fight win streak, but it’s over guys like Sam Stout, Terry Etim, and crazy-ass Melvin Guillard. Due to the quality of competition (or lack thereof), he’s barely in the middle of the pack of the Lightweight division despite the streak and seems doomed to Ultimate Fight Nights on Spike and prelim bouts for the time being. Why not give him to Gray Maynard, to see if Maynard can hang with experienced competition without DDTing himself unconscious? Just a thought.

If this turns out to be the actual card, that’s one Hell of a night. Even the prelims (with the exception of Sell/Burkman and Clementi’s fight) should at the very least be entertaining.

More later…

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  1. August 14, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    Incidentally, the asian symbol on Patrick Cote’s back means “Poor Irish Bastard Who Shites Himself”

    I used babelfish…

    • August 15, 2008 at 12:17 am

      You know, I THOUGHT that’s what it was, but wasn’t sure. Thank God for Babelfish.

  2. August 14, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    This is going to be hard to justify ponying up the cash for tickets to, even though I’ve been waiting years for UFC to hit my neck of the woods. Seriously, you’d think they’d bring something a little more interesting than Silva killing a no-name, Werdum (barely a name) killing a no-name, and Alves vs. Sanchez to try and break the Chicago market.

    • August 15, 2008 at 12:17 am

      Right. Very solid all-around card, but no names to draw the casual interest.

  3. August 15, 2008 at 2:06 pm

    Silva: “Boo.”
    Cote: *whimper*

    Did Silva lunge at him or something? Why would anyone intentionally pose like that? haha

    • August 15, 2008 at 2:29 pm

      Having had a glimpse of his personality via that “comeback” season of “The Ultimate Fighter,” it really wouldn’t shock me to find out he did that on purpose.

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