Home > Uncategorized > UNREASONABLE HATRED: The Righteous Brothers

UNREASONABLE HATRED: The Righteous Brothers

People who have known me long enough eventually learn that there are some things I simply have an unreasonable hatred for. I’ve even admitted as such in the past on this very blog.

While there are products and people in film, music, television, sports, etcetera that I can critique enough to give valid reasons as to why I might not like them or they might not be my cup of tea. However, there are some things in life that I may be able to justify not liking, however no matter of justification can explain quite why it ellicits such a strong reaction from yours truly. Some examples include James Taylor, MMA competitor BJ Penn, the music of John Mayer, the television show “Scrubs,” the film “Empire Records,” guys with long hair who do that thing where they twitch their head up and to the right to remove the hair from their eyes, and much more.

And now, you can add one more to the ever-growing list.

NEW UNREASONABLE HATRED:


THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS

Our office has people come in and out on a consistent basis; folks of all ages and walks of life. When it comes to music, we have two options. One is to use a cassette adapter that I connect to my iPod and play on our boombox. There’s enough music on my iPod to make a playlist safe and neutral so as to not offend anyone’s moral sensitivies or sensibilities, but it saps a lot of energy out of the iPod’s battery to have it playing anywhere from six to eight hours uninterrupted.

So more often than not, we employ the other option: the Oldies station.

The token “Oldies” station in our area, 98.3 WTRY, has “(You’re My) Soul and Inspiration” in heavy rotation. And I do mean heavy, because I must hear that song at least two to three times a day. Considering the ridiculous number of songs that can be considered “Oldies” these days and the ever-increasing number of years that category can span (now playing: “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor), that’s a LOT.

“(You’re My) Soul and Inspiration” exemplifies everything that I hate about The Righteous Brothers. It has the melodramatic arrangement that’s overproduced to a hacky level. It doesn’t deviate from the theme of every single song that ever charted from the group: “wow I’m in love with a woman.” Rather than make them look like hopeless romantics makes them look like hopeless co-dependent stalkers.

It also prominently features the forced white-boy baritone that bears a resemblance to a pathetic drunk yawning on the verge of a blackout. Speaking of drunks, one thing that doesn’t help the case against them is the karaoke phenomenon that I’m sure everybody reading is familiar with: the part of the evening where a group of inebriated d-bags want to recreate the scene from “Top Gun” where Goose and Maverick drunkely croon “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling.” It’s a horribly unoriginal idea, it’s never funny, and I always want to approach the gentlemen afterwards and inquire “which one of you is Goos? Because somebody has to die now.”

Also, who the Hell refers to themselves as “Righteous”? Horrible people, that’s who.

I’m really cranky today, if you couldn’t tell. I’m on the Man Rag, which is what happens when you grow up in a small apartment with 4 women (three older sisters with four years between each and my mother).

On the plus side, a new “Living Under Marshall Law” is in the can and should be posted sometime tomorrow.

More later…

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  1. June 25, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    I want BJ Penn to do a guest shot on “Scrubs” where because of an injury in a match he keeps hearing the Righteous Brothers and James Taylor in his head, and Sarah Chalke’s character is all excited because it’s Rex Manning Day.

    • June 25, 2008 at 5:48 pm

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I hate you so much.

      I don’t think I ever got the opportunity to officially congratulate you/note your nuptials on the LJ.

      Congrats on the wedding!

      • June 25, 2008 at 6:10 pm

        Thank you.

        I didn’t include anything about John Mayer because he does in fact suck monkey anus.

  2. June 25, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    John Mayer is a limp-dicked hack, but my grandpa gave me a teddy bear that played “Unchained Melody” when I was a little kid, and I’ll always love that song because it makes me think of him.

    (Yeah, I’m sappy and sentimental. What’reyagonnadoaboutit????)

    • June 25, 2008 at 5:49 pm

      I’m gonna FIGHT YOU, Claire. That’s what I’m gonna do about it.

  3. June 25, 2008 at 4:58 pm

    this may be weird, but I think you’re unreasonable harted list is REALLY similar to Greg’s. Only he doesn’t consider his hatred unreasonable–he refers to it as his completely justified hatred for things that suck.

    Meanwhile he also has unreasonable love for random stuff too. Like The Hulk. Go figure.

    • June 25, 2008 at 5:50 pm

      I’m the same way. In terms of loving random stuff, that is.

      I’ve always been realistic. There’s things that suck, and things that I think suck. Both a matter of opinion, both opinions valid. HOWEVER, I just want to be the first to admit that the amount of animosity I harbor for these sucky things/things I consider sucky is much higher than it should be.

      Because really folks, we ain’t got rooms in our hearts for hate, know what I’m sayin’?

  4. June 25, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    lists like that are why i adore you.
    half the shit on there are things that i love but it doesn’t matter. i typically hate ginger kids and you’re one of them (so is my brother) and we get along better than i do with half my friends.

    but regarding that and every righteous brothers song, they don’t even sound like they’re trying. they sound like their demographic: those drunken douchebags in a bar screaming unintelligible lyrics and such.

    the end.

  5. June 26, 2008 at 5:51 am

    Ha!

    I love how you claim it’s an unreasonable hatred, yet you gave several good reasons for hating them. Reasons I totally agree with, by the way.

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