Home > Uncategorized > A Minor Bout of Insomnia + Larry King’s Terrible Show = Inexplicably Hilarious Steve Blackman Video

A Minor Bout of Insomnia + Larry King’s Terrible Show = Inexplicably Hilarious Steve Blackman Video

I tried going to bed at about 10:00pm, dozed off for literally minutes, and woke up completely refreshed. Then I made another attempt just moments ago, and the same thing happened. You’d figure after eleven hours at work and no sleep last night (had trouble with the heat and all) I’d at least be able to get rest easily. But, alas, it’s not to be.

So instead, I’d like to rant about the Larry King episode from Monday.

The topic was the Chris Benoit story, as most of you probably could’ve figured out just by noting that there’s no other way I’d end up writing about Larry King. His panel included WWE Champion John Cena, Chris Jericho, and Bret Hart. It’s the sort of great lineup and potential for some very interesting conversation that you’d only get on a program like King’s where the hard (and logical) questions AREN’T asked and nobody’s taken to task even when they contradict themselves.

For example, when Cena and Jericho went on and on about how iron clad WWE’s drug tests (part of the “Wellness” Policy the company’s touted since Eddy Guerrero’s death in November of 2005) are, King didn’t ask how Chris Benoit could’ve tested negative when records show he was receiving ten month supplies from Dr. Phil Astin every three to four weeks. Also, Larry didn’t ask Jericho what he meant when he somewhat disappointingly noted that he was a little man in a big man’s game, but then went on to say that WWE wasn’t biased to roided up guys but rather to pure entertainers and provided himself as an example of a guy who was pushed despite his small size.

Of course, anybody who’s followed wrestling in the past five years would note at this point that Jericho, despite his popularity with the fans, is one of only two men (the other being Rey Mysterio) who was made champion only to be subsequently BURIED during his entire title reign. And if you believe that either case was due to anything other than the view from some (Vince) that the guy holding the belt was too small to draw money, then I have a thing. To sell. It’s a bridge, kinda big, in New York City. Brooklyn, to be exact.

King’s specific questions made, which at times range from softballs to non-sequitirs, made it even more unbearable at times. For example, while talking about a completely unrelated topic, King ends the conversation before going to break by saying “Bret, how did you feel when Owen died?”

Bret didn’t care too much for the tone in which that question was asked nor its placement, and as such remained relatively silent for the remainder of the program. That is, until John Cena and WWE attorney Jerry McDevitt brushed off the idea of wrestlers unionizing and Hart went on a tirade about how the industry treats its disposable performers like circus animals and the performers themselves don’t come to realize it until it’s far too late.

About midway through, the three panelists were joined about midway by “The Million Dollar” Ted DiBiase (King didn’t seem so much to forget the “Man” part as much as he was completely ignorant of it) and Steve Blackman. DiBiase towed the company line, but did it carefully and quietly enough so as to not sacrifice too much of his integrity. Blackman, of course, was as useless as he’s been on every other program. He seems like a nice enough guy, but I’m still trying to figure out 1.) why he’s all of a sudden on every talking head program and 2.) why he popped up in the first place.

It did provide possibly the greatest (and by that I mean worst) moment of the night, particularly considering the subject matter they were supposedly there to discuss:
King: [Once again, with no segue from a prior topic and without any sort of warning.] “You were known as the Lethal Weapon. A KILLER!”
Blackman: “Heh, heh…yeah…”

I know that looks like something I’d write, but no…that actually fucking happened.

I don’t really have much to add to what was by and large (and unsurprisingly) a total farce, other than THIS AWESOME VIDEO (linked to me by bpdermody which had me almost in tears laughing.

Juxtaposition or no, I still find it way funnier than I should. Discuss.

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  1. July 12, 2007 at 5:23 pm

    having read this, I decided to watch the episode. Apparently, Blackman knew Benoit for 20 years, so that explains why he’s showing up everywhere all of a sudden.

    great quote that you didn’t use: “We know suicide is a crime, but it’s un-punishable, right?” Oh, Larry…

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