Home > Uncategorized > UFC FIGHT NIGHT – Dog vs. Cat

UFC FIGHT NIGHT – Dog vs. Cat

(inspired by Steve’s latest MySpace blog post and a reply by Ed)

This calls for a
Marshall UFC Fight Review

MIDDLEWEIGHT FIGHT – DOG vs. CAT
I’d like to know what Dog did for weight cutting, because he came into this fight HUGE.
ROUND 1: They’re immediately on the ground. Dog tries to smother Cat, but Cat – shades of Royce Gracie – starts working hardcore from the bottom. He almost gets a kimura locked in, but Dog slips out. It goes back to standing. Cat retreats briefly, then immediately goes in for another shoot. Unfortunately, Dog’s takedown defense is strong, and Cat ends up back on the bottom, but slips out quickly. Cat tries for a Muay Thai clinch, but Dog overpowers him and brings it back to the ground. Dog is just smothering him, but he’s really not getting anything done or doing anything to try to end the fight. To prove my point, Dog got the back but didn’t even attempt to slip in a choke. Cat slips out again, and the crowd’s on their feet. He screams “MEOW” in a rage (Portugese for “BRING IT”). Cat immediately goes back on the offensive with a flurry and locks in an armbar from the bottom. Dog slips out and smothers him briefly Josh Koscheck style. Round ends. Dog was physically dominant at times, but Cat got a lot more done on the ground. I’d definitely score it 10-9 for Cat.
ROUND 2: The bell rings and cat just FLIES out at Dog, showing that fighting spirit that made him a superstar in Pride. He takes Dog down with a suplex, which has to be seen to be believed. Crowd’s going NUTS for that shit. Unfortunately, Cat just has too much trouble with Dog’s size, and can’t capitalize. They start grappling, with neither man getting anything done, but they’re staying active. Dog finally takes control and tries for a North-South choke that goes nowhere. Then Dog just literally lays on top of him doing absolutely nothing for about twenty seconds. Why it wasn’t stood up at this point is anyone’s guess. Dog passes guard, but perspiration allows Cat to escape. He retreats and is looking pretty frustrated and bewildered. He takes a swing with a Superman Punch that gets nothing but air. Both go in for shoots simultaneously, with Dog once again laying on top of Cat and doing nothing. The crowd is starting to turn on this match, and Dog in particular. Round ends, and Dog is hobbling and having trouble maintaining his footing. 10-9 Cat, but the round was close enough to wear giving it 10-9 to Dog wouldn’t exactly be a travesty of justice.
ROUND 3: Dog’s looking tired, but Cat seems invigorated and pounces on him. He gets a quick flurry in, but then retreats. It looks like that last burst took a lot out of him, but at this point his cardio is much better than Dog’s, so he still has an advantage as far as that’s concerned. They stand off and Cat tries for another Muay Thai clinch, but Dog uses his size to take him down again. This fight started out with so much promise, but in the latter part of the second it just died and never recovered. Dog passes guard, but that’s about it. Just smothering Cat isn’t going to get this fight won. They’re back on their feet, and Cat retreats briefly before laying in a solid shot out of nowhere that puts Dog on his back. The crowd’s going NUTS, and it was totally a flash knockout, but the fight isn’t stopped. Total bullshit. Dog recovers enough to take it to the ground again, where he does his lay and pray, which is pretty stupid considering there’s no guarantee he’s ahead in points. Dog is finally issued a GENTLE, GENTLE warning from the ref about stalling. Unfortunately, it’s too little too late, as the round ends directly after the warning.

Cat has learned of the judging and hastily leaves the Octagon, refusing to go to the center in protest. Winner by Split Decision – Dog. Crowd boos the decision, and I don’t blame them.

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  1. May 23, 2007 at 3:51 am

    Awesome video and awesome post!!

  2. May 23, 2007 at 4:54 am

    Post of the year so far. Bra-fucking-vo.

  3. May 25, 2007 at 7:50 pm

    You have too much time on your hands.

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