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MATCH OF THE WEEK

Minoru Suzuki vs. MECHA MUMMY

Okay, some explanation is needed, but none of it will help.

Minoru Suzuki is the All-Japan Triple Crown Champion. He has an MMA fighter gimmick, and acts like a Superdick, which is tons of fun. He’s actually pretty damn good in the ring.

MECHA MUMMY is exactly what you think a Mecha Mummy would be. He’s a cyborg mummy, complete with a scientist manager who is supposedly his creator. He also has peripherals he uses during matches, including a GIANT FIST. I shit you not.

This match was held at an independent show in Japan. It’s not all that uncommon for All-Japan guys, even the champion, to work a ton of dates for other companies. Suzuki in particular works for damn near every promotion under the Sun.

I’d run through the highlights, but that would ruin the sheer ridiculousness and hilarity of this match. Besides, it’s only ten minutes long. I will note that there’s nothing wrong with your headphones/speakers – creepy sci-fi humming DOES PLAY during MECHA MUMMY’s matches.

This isn’t a “if you’re a pro wrestling fan” thing, this is just straight-up fucking HILARIOUS. I don’t care if you’re a pro wrestling fan or not, you will LOVE this.

Minoru Suzuki’s theme music is six kinds of awesome, and you can download the mp3 of it here (MADSPLASH.com).

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