Home > Uncategorized > Fantasy Football, E-40, Cory Lidle, Mark Foley, and the New Fall Season

Fantasy Football, E-40, Cory Lidle, Mark Foley, and the New Fall Season

I didn’t get around to doing a Week 5 Recap for Fantasy Football, so here’s the short of it:
* In the NBSFL, I now have a winning record (3-2).
* In the FFFL, I suffered my first lost (4-1).
* In the LAFL, I am now 0-5 (fuck it).
* In the Pick ‘Em League, I went 9-14 with three pushes and am now tied for first place.

What’s interesting to note is that my supervisor’s husband brought in a sheet that he uses in a game he has with people from work. Out of curiosity they had me fill it out, and I ended up going 13 for 14 on that sheet. Part of the reason I did better with that than I did with the Pick ‘Em is that I changed some of my picks when I did the Pick ‘Em League (not sure why), but most of it is due to the fact that all of the spreads on his sheet were to a 1/2 point as to avoid pushes. He came into the office on Tuesday and jokingly referred to me as “Mr. Football.” I assured him it was a fluke, and pointed out that I went 2-14 one week in the Pick ‘Em League as proof.


So my AIM Buddy List window keeps obnoxiously playing bad mainstream rap whenever my mouse accidentally crosses over the banner image. One such song is from a guy named “E-40.” Note to mainstream hip-hop artists – it’s 2006. Using the word “booty” over and over again is definitely unhip and makes you sound like a ten-year-old.

Sad about Cory Lidle, huh? What’s sadder is that I saw a headline the next day that read (paraphrased) “New York Security Under Scrutiny After Lidle Tragedy.” What’s sad about it is that a paid journalist wrote that headline when anybody with half a brain could tell you that if any criticism pertaining to security could be leveled, it’d be against the FAA for being lax in its policy of not tracking the flight patterns of small aircraft. Which is surprising considering that this isn’t the first time a Cessna has flown into the side of a building (especially considering the first time it happened was intentional).

I agree with the consensus of many that the Mark Foley issue is being overpoliticized (even though the only election it will have any bearing on whatsoever is the one for the 16th Congressional seat in Florida), but I can’t believe that people on both sides of the “fence” are refusing to call him out for what he really is – a pedophile. Just because they didn’t find kiddie porn on his office computer and he didn’t physically force himself on those kids doesn’t mean he isn’t a pervert. It’s also interesting that some instead say he’s being attacked because he’s homosexual. I guarantee that if those 14 and 15-year-old kids were females instead of little males, he’d be crucified by the media and all of his contemporaries would be throwing him under a bus rather than saying “he has problems.” In a way, yes, he does have problems. One in particular – HE’S A FUCKING PEDOPHILE.

Unintentional hilarity – I read earlier this week that another politician put blame on the internet for Foley’s actions. I wonder if he’ll also come out and chastise the automotive industry for producing suspicious-looking vans.


Now that I’m employed and sober, I came to a frightening realization – there always seems to be something on in prime time during the week that I have to go out of my way to watch. Yes, it’s finally happened – I’m a junkie. A TV junkie, not a cool one who goes on benders and paints morbid visions of the future that end up happening in real life. That being said, this is the first time in many years that I’ve actually gone out of my way to check out the new Fall offerings from the major networks. Outlined below are the ones that piqued my interest enough to check them out, even if in some cases they failed to deliver on their promise.

“Heroes” (NBC)

The cast of NBC’s “Heroes” – Secret Asian Man, Captain Camwhore (whose special powers seem to entail her blacking out and becoming some sort of super psycho bitch) w/ Son Who Looks Nothing Like Her, Token Black Man Yet To Be Introduced, The Flying Nun Nurse, Ambiguo, The Void (of personality), Bad Actor Man, Psychic Pyg, Fortune Junkie, and Love Interest Gal
As you might have read here, I didn’t particularly care too much for the first episode of this series. That being said…well, the last two episodes sort of redeemed it enough for me to keep watching, if not enough for me to start raving about it. The dialogue’s still quite stilted, but at least stuff’s happening to keep my interest (tentative as it may be). The second and third episodes seem to indicate that they’re not going to focus as much on Captain Camwhore, which is a fantastic idea since the character (and actress portraying her) isn’t all that likable or sympathetic. The only stand-outs so far are Hiro (the Japanese guy who can bend time & space) for his pure geekiness and excitement over his powers, and the Cheerleader who gets mutilated and/or “dies” in every episode. There’s been an influx of what’s now being termed “serial dramas” since the debut and subsequent popularity of “Lost,” which I don’t necessarily think is a bad thing; I’ll take that genre over sitcoms, reality shows, and crime dramas any day. The problem, though, is that even fans of “Lost” are getting burned out after three seasons of teases and more questions than answers. What that means for this particular show is that they’re going to be put into a position where they’ll have to speed things up and deliver revelations very early into its run, which will be a difficult balancing act (keeping it interesting while not overplaying their hand). Time will tell. YATTAAAAAAAAAA!

“Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” (NBC)

Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford (NOT walking and talking!) in “Studio 60”
OH, Aaron Sorkin. I should despise you for repeatedly falling back on the same formula (have characters walk and talk and use wit so forced that it comes across as inorganic), but it’s such an entertaining formula that I can’t fault you for it. Bastard. Anyway…yeah, the second episode was crap, but the third episode renewed the promise shown in the pilot. Matthew Perry is surprisingly great in this show and is starting to prove that despite what many (including myself) had assumed, it was typecasting and not a lack of range that had him playing “Chandler” in every role he landed. D.L. Hughley is great as well, as he’s finally found that middle ground that accentuates each and every one of his strengths as a performer. The only complaint I still have about this show is the sketch comedy show the main characters are producing, which is HORRIBLY unfunny. I mean, atrociously so. It wouldn’t be a problem if the first two episodes weren’t based on the premise that the show they’re producing was so goddamn hilarious that its ratings shot through the roof. Thankfully, whether through clever post-production or a realization made as they were filming the first few episodes, the “show within a show” concept has been scaled down quite a bit to the point where it’s only included as a means to further the plot of the overall episode. Good call, and possibly the best new show on TV this season. Well, it would be if it wasn’t for…

“Friday Night Lights” (NBC)

One of these players drank a child’s coca-cola and didn’t even have the decency to toss him a jersey.
Good acting, beautiful cinematography, and subtlety (fucking SUBTLETY) in a television drama? And one that’s a spin-off of a major motion picture?! It’s like I fell asleep and woke up in Bizzaro World! “Friday Night Lights” doesn’t rely on cheap tricks (who are those mysterious Other Players?), overdramatic premises (54 hours held up in a lockerroom at gunpoint and we don’t know what happened!), or insulting the intelligence of most of its viewing audience (“Those Whacky Christians!”). Therein lies the beauty of this show – on the surface it doesn’t appear all that interesting, but it’s completely engrossing. It also doesn’t treat its main characters as objects of ridicule due to their small-town upbringing or Christian values, which is so easy to do that most screenwriters just can’t help themselves. Sure, there’s scenes where you really pity the poor Head Coach for having to listen to townspeople tell him how to do his job as if they’re all Mel Kiper, but beyond that it’s very reserved. What also helps is that the characters are all three-dimensional while maintaining an air of believability. I really can’t say enough about this show – check it out if you haven’t already.

“30 Rock” (NBC)

Alec Baldwin swallows his pride in “30 Rock”
Alec Baldwin was a Hell of a lot funnier in the commercials hyping the series premiere than he was in the premiere itself, through absolutely no fault of his own. I didn’t think I could like Tina Fey less until she was the made the main character of a 22-minute show rather than sharing camera time for one lousy 8-minute segment. Tracy Morgan (whose delivery, though limited, is fantastic) is wasted as a really lazy parody of Martin Lawrence. What’s to like about this show? Well…erm…huh. Idunno. I was bored to death with it, and I’m convinced that critics must have a weird obsession with seeing Tina Fey succeed despite her limitations. Why’s that? I don’t know. I’ll let others do the speculating.

“20 Good Years” (NBC)

Jeffrey Tambor & John Lithgow do their damndest not to look like they’re regretting signing on for “20 Good Years”
More like 30 Bad Minutes AM I RIGHT HUH HUH?! The script is miserable and fairly hacky, with one or two decent puns per episode. That was fine for sitcoms in 1985, but for 2006 (where the sitcom genre is all but dead), that’s not going to cut it. Tambor and Lithgow give off the impression that they really are trying their damndest, but you can’t help but feel sympathy for them even getting involved in this project. And is it just me, or should those two actors be playing each other’s characters? Lithgow was always at his best in “3rd Rock From the Sun” (in which he was the main redeeming quality) when his character was being totally neurotic, and Tambor’s always best as the pompous ass. I know, typecasting is lame…but damn.

“The Nine” (ABC)

These 9 people spent 54 hours in a bank together and put me to sleep during the second episode.
The pilot of this show was probably the second-best pilot of the season behind the one for “Friday Night Lights.” The premise is interesting and they did a good job of establishing relationships from the start. I wish I could say more about this show, but I fell asleep after the first twenty minutes of the second episode. That’s not a knock on this show, despite the lame pun I used in the caption for the cast picture. I was just really, really tired Wednesday night. Honest.

“Kidnapped” (NBC)

The cast of “Kidnapped” thinks if they look serious enough, people will care. Trust me, they won’t.
A rich kid is kidnapped. Detectives vow to find him. Drama entails amongst detectives. Drama entails amongst the family who decides to hide the fact that their son is kidnapped. Drama entails between the two kidnappers whose roles owe much to those of the kidnappers on that old made-for-TV movie “I Know My First Name is Steven.” That’s a lot of sub-plots for viewers to care about. Unfortunately, neither of the two episodes (three?) aired thus far have made me care at all about any of them. Maybe if, you know, something interesting were to happen. Anything. Please, I’m begging you.

“Six Degrees” (ABC)

Six complete strangers phone in their performances in an eerily similar fashion on ABC’s “Six Degrees”
Good Lord, is this show awful. Sappy and boring premise, bad acting, bad…actually, just bad all around. The show’s tagline seems to be “Isn’t it amazing how people are connected to complete strangers?! Oh, that’s the concept of roughly a third of the other shows on primetime now but they at least have a twist to them? Well…fuck.” Seriously, avoid this at all costs. However, if you’re together with friends, a fun game to play while watching this show (in lieu of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon”) is seeing how long you can make them all sit down to watch this dreck.

More later…

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: ,
  1. Anonymous
    October 14, 2006 at 5:58 pm


    Jeph Loeb is an executive producer and writer for “Heroes”. As long as he writes most of the episodes, the show should be awesome.


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