Home > Uncategorized > The Yankees finally dump Chacon…

The Yankees finally dump Chacon…

…for another outfielder, Pittsburgh’s Craig Wilson. full article (SI.com).

Wow, they might as well just send Sheffield a singing telegram.
[knock knock]
Sheffield: Hello?
Member of Barbershop Quartet: Singing telegram for Mistah Sheffield!
Sheffield: …okay…
Member of Barbershop Quartet: A-HEM! [blows on harmonica]
Barbershop Quartet: Don’t bother rehaaaabbing, don’t bother coming baaaaack…Cuz we’re not reeeeeenewing your expiring contraaaaaaaaaact!

Has anybody told Cashman that the MLB rulebook strictly states that you can only have three individuals playing in the outfield? “Whaddya MEAN there’s no such position as Upper-Right Field?!”

Maybe he thinks Wilson will be good trade bait for the offseason. Craig Wilson is AWESOME (if it’s April of 2006 and not any other month of the year). Of all the players in the major leagues who get streaky for a month and then play like shit for the next three, he’s the best!

Honestly, this trade was just an excuse to dump off Chacon. I can’t see Wilson sticking around once Matsui gets activated from the DL. He’ll get sent down to the minors, and some suckers will see potential in him and give up another good player for him and two shitty relief (at best) pitchers from Staten Island in the offseason.

At least, that SHOULD be the line of thinking. That or my gut instinct is right, and Cashman’s just an absolute idiot, and even a monkey could make the moves he’s made with the money at his disposal. I mean, considering that he got Abreu and Lidle for next to NOTHING, he could’ve JUST as easily picked up Zito from Oakland or Maddux from the Cubs. Although getting Lidle’s a good move for right (he’s four for his last five and played in a tough ballpark/division), the guy’s shaky. I mean, anything’s better than Sidney Ponson in the starting rotation, but c’mon. You gotta make a move for a consistent starter who can get it done in the postseason. Again, MADDUX. He was right there! Yeah, he’s gone South since May, but he’s still a better fifth starter than almost any other team has! And he’s got postseason experience!

Jesus Christ.

I’m calling right now what we’ll see after this season:
– Sheffield won’t be re-signed and get picked up as a free agent by some poor suckers like the Dodgers, where he’ll hit .200 and retire after they don’t make the play-offs in ’07.
– Craig Wilson and Bubba Crosby will be traded with other minor-league prospects for a Starting Pitcher, at which point we’ll all say “wow, good thing you waited until the SEASON WAS OVER, ASSHOLES.”
– Pavano’s throwing shoulder will explode while he’s cooking dinner, and the Yankees will respond by re-negotiating his contract so he gets even more money to have surgeries and sit at home playing X-Box with Mark Prior and Kerry Wood. Actually, what’d be awesome is if they managed to trade him to the Cubs, who will then have THREE overpaid pitchers who have made more money in their careers while on the Disabled List individually than the entire state of Illinois.
– Bernie Williams will state his intentions to play one more season and retire. When asked why, he’ll say “…listen, if I don’t, I’ll just end up getting traded to the Marlins, and nobody wants that.”
– They’ll secretly fish out Randy Johnson for a trade, which will only come out in the press after absolutely nobody bites.
– Yankee fans will flip a shit again when Clemens says he’s retiring, then says he’s not retiring, then talks to the Yankees, then stops talking to the Yankees, then talks to them again, then talks about his family (he’s one of those guys), then stops talking to them, then says he’ll sign if he only has to start when they play in Texas, then comes out of retirement in August of ’07 to rejoin the Astros once he’s sure they’ve still got a chance at getting into the postseason.

Remember these predictions. And remember them well.

More later…

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  1. August 1, 2006 at 4:02 pm

    My issue is that by picking up that douche from the Phillies (Sorry, all players from any team from Philadelpha are douches. I’m a Mets and a Giants fan) but yes, by picking the douche from Phili, all the feel good stories from the Yankees go out the window. Williams, Milky Caberra and some of the other young guys that were making a difference are OUT.

    Fuck the Yankees.

  2. August 1, 2006 at 4:24 pm

    Trust me, you didn’t want Maddux. He’s getting shelled in the NL. If he’s facing the White Sox, Tigers, Red Sox, A’s, Blue Jays, etc. he might put up a double digit ERA.

    • August 1, 2006 at 4:25 pm

      Oh, and the Cubs already have three overpaid DL-loving pitchers. They have Wade Miller who hasn’t thrown a pitch this year.

  3. August 2, 2006 at 3:00 am

    Only an imbecile like Dave Littlefield would take on dead weight like Chacon.

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