Home > Uncategorized > The Very Best in Japanese Pro Wrestling Entrance Music

The Very Best in Japanese Pro Wrestling Entrance Music

Everything Japanese is either (sometimes unintentionally) hilarious, awesome, or a combination of both. There are no exceptions to this rule that I just completely fabricated, and it even extends into their professional wrestling (or “puroresu”). In particular, the theme songs used for said wrestlers. Here’s a small sample.

The (Unintentionally) Hilarious…
Taka Michinoku – Remix of the same entrance theme he used in the WWF. Begins with a bunch of clanging and a loud engrish “FAH Q. I’m gorra kick you ASS.” Then at the 1:28 mark, we hear “Yo, what’s up man? My FUCKIN name is Taka Michinoku. What the FUCK do you want? You want to beat me? Huh! Nobody beat me! If you want, come ova here-a! I’m gonna kick…you…AAASSS.” It’s madness! Madness, I tell you!

Jushin “Thunder” Liger – “Ligah, LIGAH, LIGAH…ikari no JUSHIN LIGAAAAAAH! DEN DEN DEN DEN.” Nineties J-Pop at its finest.

Kensuke Sasaki – TAKE THE DREAM…LIKE A STOOOOONE(?). Keep in mind that this guy’s supposed to be, like, an ultra-badass. However, he’s a man with goals, and he (and the women singing) urge everyone to take the dream. Like a…stone? Or something?

Mohammad Yone (Pro Wrestling NOAH) – Imagine bad Raggaeton…well, scratch that, all Raggaeton is bad. But imagine it being done in Japanese by a guy taking a dump. Well, he speaks English when he raps some lines (i.e. “Y-O-N-mutha fuckin’-EEEEE”).

Leonardo Spanky – Yes, Spanky (Brian Kendrick in WWE) used a trance remix of the Celine Dion song from “Titanic” for his entrance theme when he competed in the Zero-One promotion.

Razor Ramon HG – A comedian (who wrestles on the side) who makes appearances in a Japanese comedy/variety show where he shows up clad in leather and solves problems by being overly gay and dancing to “Living la Vida Loca.” HG stands for “Hard Gay.” And this is his wrestling entrance theme, a Japanese version of The Village People’s “Y.M.C.A.” Has to be heard to be believed.

Stan Hansen (when he was still active) – He always had the cowboy gimmick, so it starts out normal enough until the disco kicks in. Take a listen.

Bruiser Brody (when he was still…alive) – A horn version Led Zeppelin’s “The Immigrant Song” performed by what sounds like agitated elephants.

…And The Just Plain Awesome
Masahiro Chono (old “Main Eventer” theme) – …actually, this one just kicks all sorts of ass. Nothing all that funny about it.

M2K (Dragon Gate stable) – Ever hear Thee Michelle Gun Elephant? Japanese punk band. They’re AWESOME. No, seriously.

Magnum Tokyo – Best theme song ever. Imagine a Japanese guy, wearing an eye mask, coming through a wild crowd, dancing around with a pink umbrella while audience members stuff money in his pants. If that hasn’t exploded your awesome meter yet, wait until you hear the lyrics, which are all in English.

MAGNUUUUUUUUUMMMM
TOKYOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I wanna see you go, I got to make ya go
I wanna see you go, I got to make ya go
I wanna see you go, I got to make ya go
I wanna see ya go
Go, well heeerrrrrre we
GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!

Generate the power when you stare into the night,
No turning back, when I’m on the attack
Keep it going til it’s light!
Time to leave your reality, it’s time to let it go!
If you wanna be free, then just listen to me:
Go go Tokyoooooo-oh-ohhh
MAGNUUUUUUUUUMMMM
TOKYOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I think at least that part where he goes into the full-on verse is going to be my away message.

More later…

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  1. August 1, 2006 at 2:17 pm

    Liger’s theme music is the greatest thing ever. If aliens came down and I had 3 minutes to explain Japan to them, I would just show them a picture of Jushin Liger and play that music. And then the last 20 seconds would just be Chairman Kaga from Iron Chef and a montage of his most awesome outfits.

    • August 1, 2006 at 3:31 pm

      And really, that’s all they would need to know. On the other hand, I think you’d be doing a great disservice if you didn’t also show them the vending machines that dispense used schoolgirls’ panties.

      • August 1, 2006 at 3:33 pm

        Perhaps it could be Jushin Liger in full costume going about his daily business, doing such things as reading pornographic manga on the train, and stopping at a vending machine for used schoolgirl panties.

      • August 1, 2006 at 3:36 pm

        I just finished a conference call with the United Nations and our federal government. They have your number if First Contact is ever established.

  2. August 1, 2006 at 3:24 pm

    Magnum Tokyo’s music is now my LIFE’S theme song.

  3. August 1, 2006 at 4:55 pm

    …wow, someone I know who isn’t involved in CFUD and who knows Razor Ramon HG. You just… are awesome, man.

    HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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