Two 2s – Where I’ve Been the Past Two Days & Two News Items That Annoyed Me Today

I spent the last two days housesitting my oldest sister’s house with her oldest daughter and their new puppy Stella. Translation – my sister, brother-in-law, and twin nieces on the beach in beautiful weather while my oldest niece and I clean up puppy pee and poop. She’s coming along with housebreaking, though. She didn’t have an accident at all yesterday until about 6:00pm (which floored me), but then I think started acting out when we got tired and stopped paying as much attention to her.

And God, is she spoiled. You want to stay mad at her, but you can’t because she’s a.) a dog and forgets shit as soon as she does it and b.) she IS adorable. She whines to be picked up, and even after numerous accidents last night, she whined for me to take her up with me on the couch (she’s so small still at eight weeks that she can’t jump up yet) and curled up in my lap for an hour-long nap. She also whines to be picked up which is simultaneously adorable and annoying. The first night she slept with my niece at the foot of her bed as usual (she goes NUTS when she’s not around and has cited her as the mother-type figure) and woke her up at 5:00am (and subsequently me) to go outside. Last night the pup wasn’t quite so accomodating, as she woke me up by whining at the top of the stairs at 4:00am, so I had to pick her up and take her outside then pet/play with her for an hour until she got tired enough for me to carry her back upstairs (and yes I had to carry her back up because she whined about not being in her/my niece’s bed). Seriously, eight-week-old puppies are like having human babies, except they don’t eventually talk and do other interesting shit.

So I finally came home today, unpacked my stuff, and thew laundry in the basket. I came out of my room and the cat (Zoe aka “Whoa!”) sat down, stared at me, and meowed (or as my nieces called it “Whoa’ed”) loudly for a full two minutes. She was PISSED. It was like having a wife and coming home late without calling. So of course I go from having to pick up and cudde one whiny animal to another. What a needy old bitch.

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First: Zawahri weighs in on Mideast conflict

From the article:

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“The war with Israel does not depend on cease-fires … . It is a Jihad for the sake of God and will last until (our) religion prevails … from Spain to Iraq,” al-Zawahri said. “We will attack everywhere.” Spain was controlled by Arab Muslims until they were driven from the country at the turn of the 16th century.

Al-Zawahri declared that Arab regimes were complicit in Israeli fighting against Hezbollah and the Palestinians.

“My fellow Muslims, it is obvious that Arab and Islamic governments are not only impotent but also complicit…and you are alone on the battlefield. Rely on God and fight your enemies…make yourselves martyrs.”

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You know that guy who gets drunk at parties/functions/bars and tells the same jokes/antecdotes OVER AND OVER again? That’s how we’re going to win the war on terror six years from now: Muslims in the Mid-East will hear this shit for the forty-seventh, finish the No. 2’s sentences for him, and say “YEAH, WE HEARD IT THE FIRST TWELVE FUCKING TIMES! CHRIST!”

Second: Tour de France winner Landis failed Drug Test

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From the article:
Floyd Landis’ stunning Tour de France victory just four days earlier was thrown into question Thursday when his team said he tested positive for high levels of testosterone during the race.

The Phonak team suspended Landis, pending results of the backup “B” sample of his drug test. If Landis is found guilty of doping, he could be stripped of the Tour title, and Spain’s Oscar Pereiro would become champion.

It wasn’t immediately known when the backup sample will be tested.

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If this turns out to be true: Wha…WHY?! It continues to astound me that athletes are testing positive for steroids and other illegal substances, especially in competitions like this where it’s become such a hot-button issue. Floyd, you HAVE picked up a newspaper or turned on the television in the past fucking five years…right? I mean, I understand training is rigorous, but you can’t be THAT sheltered. Some athletes have become the whore in High School who always has unprotected sex thinking “I’m not gonna get knocked up!” despite all her whore friends getting knocked up. Then they get knocked up and don’t know what to say or do.

Also, you know this’ll just be another revival of the “Did Lance Dope?” debate that will never fucking end because of guys like this. Remember the good old days of sports? Wait, Ty Cobb. Nevermind.

More later…*

*And I actually do mean “more later.” Specifically: “20 Things, People, and Devices That Should Never Be Used in Movies Ever Again”