Home > Uncategorized > Season Finale of Lost

Season Finale of Lost

So we found out…
– Zeke was, indeed, wearing a fake beard. Not just a red herring. Oh, and his real name is Tom.
– Desmond’s actually an okay dude!
– Something really DOES happen when the counter hits zero. Oh, and it was “The Pearl” that was the psychological experiment, with the notebooks the residents were required to write in just being dropped in the middle of a field.
– Semi-related, the electromagnetism released by the bunker experiment counting down is what caused the plane to crash.
– Clancy Brown is awesome. But, like Zeke’s fake beard, we already knew this.
– The Others had no hatch. It was just another attempt to trick Michael.
– Eko is apparently the Nigerian Superman, able to withstand dynamite blasts from close proximity.
– Desmond’s boat belonged to Libby’s husband.
– Hurley gets mad enough to attack when Sawyer calls him names, but Michael killing Libby? “Dude, I’m going back.” The Hell?! I wanted a HURLEY CHOKESLAM FROM HELL!
– Tom/Zeke takes orders from “Henry.”

And now we wonder…
– What the fuck was that bird-type green thing that flew over Michael, Jack, Sawyer, Kate, and Hurley? And why did Hurley think it said his name? Did it actually and I just didn’t hear it?
– What are The Others planning to do with Jack, Sawyer, and Kate?
– Did Michael and Walt make it to the supposed destination where they’d be rescued?
– No, seriously, what the fuck WAS that when the bunker experiment hit system failure?
– Are Desmond, Eko, and Locke still alive? (Maybe, absolutely, and most likely.)
How dark the con of man?
– Why is it always Russians in the Antarctic?
– How did Penny (Desmond’s ex) know to look for a freaking EM pulse?
– No, really, where the Hell is Rousseau?
– How did Libby end up in the insane asylum?

I’m sticking to my “Libby getting resurrected like Jesus” theory, just because it seems to frustrate Ellie and so on the small chance it does happen I can say “HA, FUCK YOU!” Just kidding, it’s not just a small chance. LIBBY CHRIST SUPERSTAR!

So what exactly DID happen beyond the electromagneticism whacking-out thing? Well, my sources sent me an image still from the already-filmed pilot for next season. And…well, let’s just say the Castaways and The Others are in for a world of trouble. For what was released? Think about it. A containment field, the button-pushing disengaging the electromagnetic pulse coming from a secret area that they can’t gain access to? It all adds up to one thing. Nay, one man. For released after the catastrophy in the bunker was none other than…


MAGNETO!

Which means they’re actually all in the Savage Land, and that green bird was Sauron. And Penny is really Moira McTaggert, and she’s not looking for Desmond, but to stop Magneto in his quest to enslave all of mankind and allow Homo Superior to reign supreme on the planet Earth. Also, Sawyer is really Wolverine, and will murder all of The Others in the midseason cliffhanger for Season 3, turn to Jack, and say “sorry about all the lies Bub.”

Yes, it’s just as ridiculous as my LIBBY CHRIST SUPERSTAR theory (which I’m still sticking too goddamnit). But seriously, is it any more ridiculous than this show has already become?

I don’t know why I keep watching this. But I do, and I will.

More later…

Edited at 11:56pm
…and this time, I mean it!

ADDENDUM – What I would say if I were various characters in this episode:

Eko to Locke during the scuffle in the bunker:
“If you’re right, then we’re pushing a button every 108 minutes for nothing. If you’re wrong, then we’re pushing a button every 108 minutes to prevent a major catastrophe. Either way, is there some tremendous downside to PUSHING A BUTTON EVERY 108 MINUTES that I’m missing?!”

Desmond to Locke when locking themselves in the bunker to let the time run out:
“Hey, I know for a fact that this does something. Perhaps I should’ve mentioned that before.” No, seriously, that’s just common sense. Desmond KNOWS it does something, so WHY does he say “okay, maybe it won’t this time” and he joins Locke’s little scheme of marching up and down the squayer (<— points if you get that reference).

Hurley to the boat containing Michael and Walt as it slowly moves away:
“Hey, Walt! Dude, your Dad’s a fucking murder! Just make sure you remember that on Father’s Day.”

Clancy Brown, coming out of character to Desmond:
“Alright, listen up. I’m Clancy Brown. I was the dickhead guard in Shawshank Redemption. I was the evil mind-controlling priest in Carnivale. AND I was the voice of Lex Luthor on ‘Justice League.’ Now…KNEEL BEFORE BROWN. BROWN!”

Charlie, when Eko approaches him about going to the bunker:
“…wait. I need to go with you WHY exactly?”

Anybody in the search party to find The Others to Jack after revealing he knows Michael was corrupted:
“…wow, Jack. You’re quite possibly the worst leader since Ultra Magnus in Transformers: The Movie. Time to hand the Leadership Matrix to Bernard…you know, the only guy on the island with even a shred of common sense.”

Michael, to “Henry” after he tells Michael that if he says anything of what happened on the island he’ll reveal what Michael did:
“Firstly, we’re on a secluded island and you’re kidnapping three of the only four people who know what I did, doing God knows what with them, and the fourth person you’re releasing back to the Castaways was institutionalized at one point. Secondly, what jury would convict me if my son was in danger? And thirdly, who are they going to believe – the man who heroically saved his son, or a bunch of nutcases wearing costumes from a community theatre production of ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ running around an island with rifles and kidnapping children? Okay, just checking.”

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  1. May 25, 2006 at 1:26 pm

    Either Libby is like… an angel or something (watching over hurley and desmond), or she wigged out after her hubby died and she gave the boat away.

    But I feel as though there HAS to be another reason the plane crashed and all those people were on it. Because it seems too coincidental.

    • May 25, 2006 at 2:15 pm

      It’s WAY too coincidental. And if this show ends up just trying to make a statement about how funny fate is and how connected we all are, I will drive to Los Angeles and punch J.J. Abrams square in the face.

      One thing I can’t believe I forgot to mention in the post – THE FOUR-TOED FOOT SECTION OF A GIANT STATUE. The Hell was that?! And props to Sayid for again being the smartest and most observant person on the island, saying “hey, know what’s weirder than it being so large and the rest of it missing? FOUR FREAKIN’ TOES!”

      Oh, and very very VERY disappointed at the lack of the Black Smoke creatures. I was really hoping when Sayid told Jack to look for black smoke that they were going to end up running into the creature(s) instead…but all for naught. That was a horrible tease, IMO.

      • Anonymous
        May 25, 2006 at 5:25 pm

        Yeah, my friends and I were talking about the four toes last night. That was freeky.

    • May 25, 2006 at 4:11 pm

      I had wanted Mira Furlan action in this episode. I was certain she was going to save Jack, Kate and Sawyer as soon as they made mention to her traps which are obviously in The Other’s territory.

  2. May 25, 2006 at 5:42 pm

    Yay for fake-Tivo!

    We did a rewind and the bird, did in fact, say Hurley’s name. It’s really garbled, but it’s there.

    I watched Michael’s actor on The View today (shutupSHUTUP) and he maybe just throwing out a red herring, but there’s the possibility of him not coming back at all in the third season. He seemed hesitate to confirm this, because the writers keep changing their mind (I’m fairly sure they’re making it up as they go along) but he said the original plan was that Michael would come back in the forth season to rescue people on the island.

    So it seems that Michael and Walt will, in fact, get off the island if this is correct. Still, I think it’d be hella lame if we get a full season with no answers.

    Finally…

    CLANCY BROWN

    CLAAANNNCCCYYY BROOOWWWNNN

    • May 25, 2006 at 5:48 pm

      (Also, do you remember him from Sayid flashback?)

    • May 25, 2006 at 6:06 pm

      “I watched…The View today”

      And only four days removed from graduation…

      Screw it, we really don’t need Michael or Walt back. We can find out why they kidnapped Walt without him or his murderer father being present. I mean, really, the character of Michael doesn’t serve much of a purpose unless he’s trying to rescue his son. While I wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t brought back, the character has more or less been all it needs to be/done all it needs to do.

      • May 25, 2006 at 6:40 pm

        “We got more than we bargained for when Walt joined us.” The icon says it ALL.

      • May 25, 2006 at 6:55 pm

        Fucking child molesters.

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