Home > Uncategorized > MLB Monday (two days late)

MLB Monday (two days late)

AL East
Boston is sitting pretty atop the division at 13-7. Don’t look for them to go anywhere, as they wrap up the month of April with series against struggling Cleveland and the absolutely miserable Devil Rays, who are surprisingly only 4 games under .500. The Yankees are experiencing their typical April angst, as they’ve gone 2 over fafter hovering at 1 game or at .500 for the past couple weeks. Jeter’s hot…Hideki’s not (someone wake that freaking dragon). Despite having Burnett or Halladay (or both) on the DL at all times so far this season, Toronto is hanging in at 10-8, tied for second in the division. Thankfully, Burnett was told by Dr. James Andrews that he just needs a little rest and WON’T need surgery. Baltimore just plain refuses to die (until next week).

AL Central
The White Sox hold the best record in the American League and been tied with Houston for best record in all of baseball. Hey, if both teams keep up this level of play, it’d be the first time we’d have a rematch in the World Series in what, thirty years? They wrap up tonight at Safeco before facing The Longest Team Name In Major League Baseball. Detroit isn’t terribly far behind them at this point, and are 6-2 since Jim Leyland threw the most premature postgame tirade in recent memory. How bad of a slide is Cleveland on? They’ve lost 2 in a row to 4-14 Kansas City (who COULD…GO…ALL…next month without a win), and lost the opening game of their Boston series. Oh, and then they get to play their division leaders and Oakland. Not looking good for the Tribe anytime soon. After a pretty decent homestead in the middle of April, Minnesota has only won 2 of their last 8. If they can get out of April with only 2 more losses, they’ll still have a losing record.

AL West
The Angels may not know where they live, but they do know they’re atop of their division by a hair. Texas, to nobody’s surprise, is at .500. But, surprisingly, they’re 9 for their last 12 and hung in there against Oakland despite losing the series. Speak of the Devils (Athletics actually), after some tough games against Detroit, the Angels, and Texas, they get a break when they go to Kansas City on Friday. Seattle seems to be on a downward spiral after losing 8 of their last 10.

NL East
The Mets have been ridiculously hot, and look to prove they belong at the top when they open their series against struggling Atlanta. The Phillies are solid offensively, but the pitching’s awful (only the Pirates have a worse team ERA in the NL) and Tom Gordon isn’t seeing as many save opportunities as he saw just a couple weeks ago. Washington and Florida are both playing miserably, but at least the Marlins can win more than one game in their home stadium. I guess the Nats just want out of RFK Stadium that fucking badly.

NL Central
The Astros are red hot. In their wins they’ve absolutely exploded offensively, and their pitching’s been fantastic. They’re definitely not looking like a Wild Card team thus far, although they’re in what’s right now the best overall division in Major League Baseball. Cincinatti has been very lucky so far, and it’s only a matter of time before poor pitching catches up to them. St. Louis will slide past them and never look back sooner rather than later. Considering the absence of Derrek Lee, The Cubs are doing very well, and with their performance the last two weeks there’s the potential for them to seriously contend in this division. After starting the season off at 5-1, Milwaukee has proven themselves to be mediocre in every sense of the word. And so much for everyone’s dark horse pick The Pirates, huh?

NL West
Colorado is LEADING THE DIVISION?! AND LEADING THE NL IN HITTING?! AND THEY HAVE A BETTER RECORD ON THE ROAD THAN THEY DO AT HOME?! I JUST SHIT MY PANTS AND BROKE MY CAPS LOCK! There, that’s better. It’s a miracle that The Giants are two games above .500, considering a really tough schedule in April and the fact that their hitting and pitching is wretched. On the flip side, Arizona is a better team than their record would suggest, and something finally seems to be clicking with them. Once The Dodgers get all the kinks worked out, they should be in okay shape. San Diego is playing poorly, but they always seem to defy the odds later in the season.

Other Notes:
– Barry Bonds, the biggest story in baseball for all the wrong reasons, recently hit his second home run and looked like he was going to collapse in pain while he was rounding third. He wasn’t joking when he said he doesn’t think his body will hold up long enough to catch Hank Aaron, and five to ten years down the line I wouldn’t be surprised if he becomes the next walking (or rolling) advertisement for staying off steroids. Also, anyone else catch that the Giants are re-evaluating the heating system in the dugout after Bonds complained recently? Seriously, that’s elderly man shit right there.
– But nevermind all that. Let’s turn our attention to a true athlete who is on the verge of making history through good old fashioned determination and the human spirit. Craig Biggio is currently at 275 HBPs for his career, and is only 12 away from breaking the all-time record (he currently holds the common era record). Da Bigg hasn’t been hit since April 16th, so he’s more than due. I urge you all to keep an eye out, because history could be made this season.
– Speaking of plunking, has anyone else enjoyed all the Revenge Plunks and subsequent ejections as of late? Call me a weak representation of America’s youth in a McDonald’s ad, because BA DA BA BA BAAAAAAA I’m lovin’ it.
– I’m sorry to say that Paul Byrd probably isn’t long for my fantasy team, The Troy Haymakers. His ERA is an abysmal 9.15, and even in his last win he didn’t look too good. He also got shelled by the fucking Kansas City Royals, for crying out loud.
– It’s pretty much a lock that the Yankees and Mets are getting new stadiums. I don’t know if I’ll ever get past the sacrilege of the Yankees not playing in Yankee stadium, and I get the feeling I’m not the only one who’s going to feel that way.

More later…

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  1. April 27, 2006 at 2:59 am

    I think I feel a bit dirty when I think of the Mets not at Shea. I hate Shea, but it’s Shea Fucking Stadium! It’s like the 5th oldest stadium in the country, and its the home of my Mets.

    • April 27, 2006 at 12:46 pm

      Seriously, it just seems wrong.

      • April 27, 2006 at 12:54 pm

        We should liberate it.

      • April 27, 2006 at 4:19 pm

        *fast-forward one year, where we see a shaggy-bearded Steinbrenner with a tongue depresser in his mouth*

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