Home > Uncategorized > South Park, Cruise v. Shields II, Baby Plaz, Ichiro explodes, and Netflix movies

South Park, Cruise v. Shields II, Baby Plaz, Ichiro explodes, and Netflix movies

I am freaking EXHAUSTED and don’t know why. Oh, wait, I DO know…it’s staying up past 1:00am every night. “Boomerang” shows back-to-back Timm/Dini (“Batman” and “Superman”) just to keep me from getting a full night’s sleep during the work week. “Justice League” starts airing next week at 11:30pm, Monday through Sunday. Just as well, since the current “Adult Swim” lineup (which was my previous excuse for insomnia) holds very little appeal. Which is very, very sad.

Hey, rather than do work, why don’t I just jump around from topic to topic? With not even a shred of cohesion? Sounds like a plan!

After what had been thus far a really good season, “South Park” absolutely stunk last night. There wasn’t a single moment in the entire episode that I found amusing…which is very rare.

There was a lot of potential in the idea of Towlie as a James Frey type who embellished some details (in this case saying he was a person rather than a towel) in order to move more copies of his memoirs. The entire episode, however, seemed to focus on the story of Oprah’s privates rebelling against her, complete with them pulling a gun out towards the end. It fell absolutely flat, and was one of the few times where I felt that Parker and Stone should’ve realized how lame this was after the first scene involving the “characters.” All in all, very uninspired and disappointing.

This coupled with a lack of a new “Lost” episode made TV awful. Well, TV’s already awful, but usually Wednesday nights have something that I go out of my way to watch, and subsequently enjoy. Bah! Can we start an online petition for non-stop seasons of “Lost” to start in late January and run through May? I’d rather wait until January 2007 for Season 3 than have three weeks to a month go by without new episodes (resulting in me forgetting the name of the Asian guy…you know, old whats-his-name).

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The child of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes was born on Tuesday. Cruise joked in a GQ article that he was going to eat the placenta, and after some “news” sites/publications reported it as fact, everyone freaked out as if that was the nuttiest fucking thing he’s ever done or will do (ex: just joining the Church of Scientology tops it and that turned out to be only the tip of the iceberg). The real story here is that Brooke Sheilds also gave birth to her child on that same day, meaning in 25 years it will do battle with the Cruise-spawn to decide the fate of all Humanity.

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Someone on the internet needs to compile a montage of hits Reggie Bush took in the 2005 season and show it to the analysts on ESPN and various sports writers who keep mentioning how risky it is to pick a Running Back in the draft. I could be going nuts, but I seem to remember him taking some vicious hits this past season and just bouncing back up like his baby sister had tickled him. The guy’s Baby Plaz.

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Ichiro went on a tear last night, going 4 for 4 and bringing his his season average up to .227. I really hope he works out of this slump…not just for my fantasy team’s sake, but also because he’s probably my single favorite player in baseball right now. There’s just something refreshing about watching a great all-around player who doesn’t go for the long-ball every time he’s at the freaking plate.

Zito’s starting tonight for Oakland. Pray for an ERA below 6.

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I forgot to mention that I finally got around to watching Ikiru. Fourth Kurosawa movie I’ve seen, and now second-favorite (right behind “Seven Samurai”). It’s a really well done and beautiful film. Considering the subject matter, and the fact that it was two hours and twenty-three minutes, it moved very quickly. The last third of the film is absolutely amazing, in particular the last fifteen minutes. Kurosawa’s usual themes are present, such as the importance of developing a sense of individuality in a rigid post-war Japanese society. In this film, however, he also goes a little further to include universal criticisms of dehumanizing bureaucracy. However, he doesn’t really go so far as to say it’s necessarily a system that’s fully to blame for nothing being accomplished, but also the influence of a society as a whole on the behavior and/or inaction of the individual. Highly recommended.

The other rental was WWE’s “Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior.” The DVD was sort of like his promos: funny at times (both intentionally and unintentionally), but when it’s done you’re left asking what the Hell the point of all that was. For someone who already knows full well that the guy was/is out of his gourd, the film really doesn’t hold anything of value or any startling revelations. Christian’s imitation of his promo at Wrestlemania 6 is sort of funny, but not as “hilarious” and “dead on” as others would have you believe. They really seemed to gloss over his feud with Rick Rude, which is a shame because that’s probably the one thing people remember him most for after the build-up to his title win over Hogan.

Others will tell you that WWE was childish to put this out…which they were, since it just totally slams the guy without any chance of allowing him to defend himself, but then again it’s the Ultimate fucking Warrior. Any defense he’d give would probably just make you hate him more. That aside, I’m really glad I didn’t shell out twenty bucks for this. Extras include some matches that are just as bad now as they are back then, including the incredibly overrated match with Hogan (just because the crowd’s hot for it and it’s one of only two matches where he doesn’t blow up five minutes after running to the ring doesn’t mean it’s worth watching again). Not recommended. Even if you’re feeling a little nostalgic for some Warrior matches, trust me, it’s better remembered and left at that.

Next two films in the Netflix Queue:
Brokeback Mountain – I’m curious to see if it lives up to all the hype it got. I’m really looking forward to the love scene between The Hulk and Li Mu Bai (“HULK WANT SWORD”).
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – I’ve heard mixed reactions from those I know who have seen it. I’m really hoping that Mos Def’s Aura of Fucking Cool (which surrounds him and everything he does) can save whatever shortcomings it may have.

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And I’m spent. More later…

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  1. April 20, 2006 at 6:11 pm

    What other Kurosawa have you watched? Ran and Yojimbo are particularly fantastic.

    Brokeback Mountain: Okay, but not nearly as good as everyone made it out to be. The cinematography and acting were superb, but the story left me a little cold. Most of the love it’s received is because it has two A-list actors kissing and such.

    The Guide: The love story was a little off, but otherwise the movie was great fun. Mos Def is pretty good and John Malkovich’s character is rather creepy. Make sure to watch through the ending credits.

    • April 20, 2006 at 7:11 pm

      The Seven Samurai, Rashomon, and High and Low. I’m thinking of throwing the third on my queue, since I saw it on TV about a month ago and didn’t get a chance to give it my complete attention.

      Thanks for the tips on the two upcomings. Hitchhiker’s does look fun, and unfortunately it’s one of those movies that I had wanted to see (but didn’t get around to it) when it was out in theatres, then didn’t even think of getting it through Netflix until someone casually mentioned the movie when I was talking to them a few days ago.

      • April 20, 2006 at 8:05 pm

        Brokeback – a worthy flick, but (and maybe this is my theatre background showing) I got more out of it seeing it in a darkened theater with a bunch of strangers and palpable tension that was diffused at the first instance of A-list butt sex, then forcing the audience to pay attention to the love story – which is quite beautiful. I give Heath Ledger and Jake Gylenhall a lot of credit – they give very well crafted performances.

        Hitchikers – Not being a devout Douglas Adams fan, maybe I’m in no position to comment on this but Mos Def and Martin Freeman are the only real reasons to see the movie. I guess it was faithful to the book, but the love story took up too much time and focus and wound up hindering more than helping the film overall.

  2. April 21, 2006 at 12:49 am

    I just bought the Criterion version of “Ran”, and I’m waiting for a long weekend or something to really take it all in. So, so good.

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